


Maybe It's The City

by orphan_account



Category: Sebastian Stan - Fandom
Genre: Alcoholism, Drugs, F/M, Kidnapping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-27
Updated: 2014-08-27
Packaged: 2018-02-15 00:41:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 28,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2209176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Venice has big plans in the Big Apple, but sometimes childhood fantasies can get discarded when you get too caught up in someone else's life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I promise this isn't a Burlesque rip-off.

The diner was dead as usual. A young couple pulled up half an hour ago in a beat-up Volkswagen ordering lots of pancakes and a man with a baseball cap cowered in the corner with a plate of bacon and scrambled eggs. Usually we would have more elderly patrons in the morning who would leave a generous tip for Ellie and I, so I wouldn’t have to worry about Tom not paying me on time. 

"Can I help you with anything?" I ask the hooded bacon-and-eggs customer.

"No." he answered gruffly. 

"Alright," I sigh and strut over to the counter, hoisting up the trap and slipping inside. 

"Hey, V, you alright?"

"Yeah, I guess."

I eyed the till longingly, my arms ached to just rip it open and grab all the money that Tom owed me. I snapped out of my trance once I noticed Ellie watching me in my peripheral vision.

"I think you should do it,"

"Do what?"

"What you’ve been planning to do since you started working here! I know I always told you it was a long shot but, I think you should."

"You think I could make it New York?"

"Hell yeah," she grinned and crossed over to the till, clicking it open with the key attached to her hip belt. "With what Tom owes you, you could get a bus to NY and pay for a few nights before you found a job. With a face like yours it can’t be that hard." she put a hand under my chin and smiled before putting a wad of cash in my hand. 

"Are you sure? Can you run this place on your own?"

"Are you underestimating me?" she joked.

I giggled. “Thank you Ellie.” She pulled me into a tight hug. The bell on the door ripped us from our embrace. I looked up to see the Volkswagen couple leave, hand-in-hand.

When I looked back at Ellie she was scrolling away on her phone. I watched her quizzically.

"A bus leaves from Boston Express to New York in half an hour, you could get there in ten minutes right?"

"Uh, yeah. Wait, you want me to leave now?"

"Yes."

"Are you out of your mind?"

"Yes."

I grinned widely. “Ok, Ok, I’ll do it.”

Ellie flashes a grin back. “Good. And call me when you get there OK?”

"I will,"

"Go get ‘em, punk."

______________________________________________________

New York City was not how I expected it at all, it was better. The buildings reached so far up that I couldn’t even see the tops before they disappeared into the clouds. And the people, there were so many people. It was everything I had dreamed of and more. 

"Thank you," I handed the cab driver a ten before hopping out of the taxi and stepping onto the streets. It felt like I was in a movie or an episode of Gossip Girl or something. I didn’t know what to do or where to turn, but I couldn’t stay in one place for long because so many people were bustling this way and that. 

I pulled out the list of cheap hotels I bought at the station in Boston. My eyes scanned the list searching for somewhere that didn’t sound like something from a horror movie. I asked for directions from a pedestrian, who to my surprise was actually quite kind and pointed the hotel out to me with a smile. 

When I used to chant about my dream of living in New York with a cute apartment and a part on a big time Broadway show my mother would shoot me down and call me stupid. ‘A Richards girl does not sing and dance on stage like a monkey,’ according to her. For some reason, her hatred against my passion for musical theater always just fueled my desire for it even more.

The hotel looked too modern and clean for it to be as cheap as the guide indicated. The receptionist welcomed me with a warm smile and I booked a room for three nights. I needed to get onto that job right away if I wanted an apartment by the end of the week.

I knew Broadway wasn’t community theater and I couldn’t waltz in and audition for a role, I had to work my way up. I used the hotel WiFi to google for those bars where the waiters sing. Ellie told me about them, they had diners like them too, she heard a story about these girls who served drinks at a bar and they were scouted by a Broadway director, now they all have lead roles in Wicked and Les Miserables. There was one down the street called Stan’s so I grabbed my bag and skipped out of my hotel room.

I was wary before stepping inside the bar, which was slightly secluded on the corner of the street. It resembled an Italian restaurant almost.

I walked in gingerly, unsure of how to make my entrance and where to go. What I saw was far from my expectations. A long bar with racks after racks of spirits and wines stretched across both far walls, leading up to a small stage which was graced by three women singing an unfamiliar tune with angelic voices. Waiters and waitresses bustled around in cute uniforms serving cocktails to the admiring customers. This was exactly how I used to picture working at the diner would be like when I was little, and even better.

"Can I help you?" a low voice from behind me made me jump out of my skin. I spun on my heel to see a boy in his late twenties, maybe. He was dressed in black pants and a button up shirt, with a dark apron loosely tied around his waist. "Stan’s" was sewn into the bottom left corner of the apron in red thread.

"Um, sorry, are you.. uh- are you the owner?"

"No, I’m his son." he grinned, displaying his set of pearly I-had-braces-for-four-years teeth. "Sebastian."

He stuck out his hand which I shook with hesitance. “I’m Venice. I’m looking for a job.”

"Well that’s great, we’re always looking for an extra hand." He grinned again, his eyes crinkling slightly as he did. "Come here, you can help me at the beer."

I followed him behind the bar where he handed me an apron and hung up my bag and jacket on the employee hooks.

"Have you worked with alcohol before?"

"Not really, I think maple syrup and ketchup is the most experience I’ve had." I joked, to which he laughed a genuine chuckle, his eyes crinkling up again.

"OK, well all the beer taps are labelled so if anyone orders one of them it should be easy, you just pull the lever down and fill up a pint glass. These shelves have all the wines on which are also labelled, people don’t usually order wine or beer, they usually want some sort of cocktail or spirit, which are over here." he pulled out a laminated sheet with a list of names of different spirits and fruits. "Here is a list of different cocktails people will order, so you know what to conjure up, and if they want something that’s not on this menu, they’ll specify." he looked up to me with a smile. "You think you got it?"

"Uhhm," I sighed, taking it all in. Working as a bartender was not my initial plan and reason why I traveled cross-country to live in New York for. I wanted to be up on the stage, dancing and singing with the other girls. But you have to start somewhere, and my top priority at that moment was to get some money in my pocket. "I mean, I think so."

"Great," he shoots me a lopsided smirk and spins to serve an awaiting customer. "So Venice? Maple syrup and ketchup, that wasn’t the greatest hint to your previous occupation. Where did you work before?"

"At a diner," I reply, serving a man his second Guinness of the night.

"A diner, huh? Were you fired or something? Cause, you know, most people don’t come hunting for a job at eight PM on a Thursday night."

"Uh, no, I quit. Well, it’s complicated. It’s a small diner that’s joint to this gas station just outside of Boston. My friend who also worked there convinced me to take my money and run away. The boss never really paid us."

"Boston? So why did you dump Boston and come over here?"

"Uhhhhm," I hesitate, fiddling with the cap of some Smirnoff. "I don’t know, I guess I just want to pursue my dream."

"And what’s that?"

"Uhh, I’m not telling you."

"Oh come on, this is NYC, I’ve probably heard crazier."

I crack a smile. He was really cute, with his fuzzy hair and straight teeth and his crinkly eyes. He had to be at least twenty-five, but he resembled a teenage boy, especially his mannerisms and his jokey nature. I’d only known him for about fifteen minutes but I was already comfortable in his presence. “I want to be in musical theater.”

"Ahhhh, so now I know why you came here."

I turned away from him, a blush creeping up on my cheeks.

"You know," he said. "My dad holds auditions with his partner every two weeks. If you wanna get up there," he gestures towards the stage where the girls were belting out a Christina Aguilera ballad. "You should go and show them what you’ve got."

I chewed the inside of my lip hesitantly while Sebastian eyed me with expectancy.  “Maybe I will.”

He flashed his famous grin before turning to serve more customers.

______________________________________________________

As it was a Thursday, business was quite quiet, giving me a chance to get the hang of brewing up cocktails and working the beer taps. I took note of Sebastian’s particular friendliness towards certain people and noted them down as regulars. At 11:30 we closed for the night.

I picked up my bag and jacket from the pegs and replaced it with my new apron.

"I’ll see you at seven tomorrow, Venice." Sebastian waved towards me before leaving.

I smiled and waved back, “Bye, Sebastian!”

I walked back to the hotel with a huge grin plastered on my face. I had to call Ellie and thank her a million times for her great idea. The seventeen missed calls from my mother couldn’t even drag me down.

I immediately noticed my open door as soon as I stepped out of the elevator. My heart fell right into my stomach when I gingerly opened the door and took in the sight. Even though I specifically remember locking the door before I left, the handle and lock were left intact as if someone had strutted right in. The furniture was knocked about carelessly and my luggage was strewn across my luggage. I went straight to the bedside cabinet where I kept the wad of money Ellie gave to me. It was gone, the only thing left was the picture of my dad on my seventh birthday, except the frame was smashed and the paper was torn.

Tears had sprung relentlessly from my eyes before I even fled from the room. I sprinted down the stairs and through the lobby and collapsed on the front steps. Shortly after I began sobbing into my knees, the sky cracked above me and sheets of rain began to beat on my t-shirt clad body. All thoughts of my fabulous New York adventure had flew out of the window. I couldn’t even think of what I was going to do now I was broke and stranded in a city I’d been in for short of a few hours.

"Venice?"

I was pulled out of my blubbering trance by a familiar voice. I looked up from my knees to see Sebastian making his way towards me, wrapped in a parka with a brown satchel across his shoulders.

"Venice, what’s wrong? What happened? What are you doing out here in the rain."

"S-someone broke i-into my room," I choked out between sobs. "They took a-all of my money!"

"Oh my God! Here, come on." He hoisted me up with his strong, muscly arm, slightly wrapping his coat around my bare arms.

"What are you doing?"

"You’re coming to my place,"

"No, Sebastian, I can’t. I barely know you!"

"Come on, you’re broke, soking wet, crying! And my apartment is just down the street. Seriously, it’s the least I can do. I can’t just leave you here."

"Fine."


	2. Chapter 2

Sebastian tore off his drenched parka and slipped it over my bare arms. My teeth were chattering relentlessly and I could barely make out a thank you. He took my hand and lead me down the puddle-filled street towards his flat building. 

"When we get inside, I’ll give you my number so you can call me next time you want to have a breakdown in the middle of a thunderstorm." he lightheartedly joked.

"I appreciate it."

The apartment block was nothing short of shabby. I don’t know what I expected from the son of a bar owner but I definitely pictured at least a doorman and a working elevator. Thankfully, he was only on the second floor and I managed to carry myself up the flight of stairs without having a heart attack.

"Welcome to my humble abode," Sebastian said, ushering me inside and slipping his coat off my shoulders.

"You have a lovely place,"

"It’s OK, you don’t have to lie. I know it’s a shit-hole, but I’m used to it. Being the boss’ kid doesn’t get you a raise, you’d be surprised to know."

I chuckled, his jokey manner put me at ease slightly.

"This sofa doubles as a bed, and I have some blankets somewhere, but that’s all I can do for you at the moment other than make you some hot coffee."

"Sebastian, that’s more than I can ask for, seriously, thank you so much."

"Hey, it’s no problem. It’s nice to have some company." He started towards the kitchen before turning around again. "Oh and Venice, call me Seb."

"Alright."

______________________________________________________

"Sweet dreams, Venice." Sebastian smiled, flicking the light switch on the wall and pooling the room with darkness. I listened to his feet pad into his bedroom before snuggling down into the sofa bed.

Sebastian had been so hospitable even though we’d met less than two hours ago, I had no idea of how I was supposed to repay him. I used this to distract myself from my worry of where the hell I was supposed to sleep while I tried to earn back all of my money. When that crept back into my mind I knew it would be a restless night.

I peeked my head into his bedroom when I woke up to see if he was awake. His feet poked out of the ends of the duvet and his mouth was hanging open, eliciting a soft snore every few seconds. This sight would’ve been adorable if it wasn’t for the puddle of drool on the mattress by his head and the spit strong from his mouth leading to it. I padded back into his kitchen as quietly as I could and started to brew up some coffee.

"G’morning," my head snapped up towards the groggy mumble. Sebastian stumbled into the kitchen with a yawn, his muscly arm reaching up to scratch the back of his head.

"Good morning. I thought I’d make coffee. You know, it’s the least I could do after you saved my ass last night. I honestly can’t thank you enough."

"It’s fine, I love charity work. Hey, hey, I’m kidding. But seriously, it’s not a big deal at all."

"Are you sure?"

"I’m positive."

I smiled into my steaming cup.

"So," he leaned against the table, crossing his bare, ripped arms. I pushed myself up onto one of his breakfast bar stools. "What do you want to do until the bar opens?"

"I don’t know, I was hoping on getting out of your hair and figuring out how to get my money back and-"

"No, no, no. Here’s what’s happening, you’re staying with me until you have enough money to buy a place somewhere, OK? Venice, you have no money. Some douche took it all, I refuse to let you wander around the streets of New York trying to get it back when something like that could easily happen again, or worse. And in the meantime I will be writing a strongly worded e-mail to the hotel you were staying at about their security."

"Sebastian, you don’t have to do this for me, I barely know you."

"I don’t care. We’re colleagues so to me we’re friends. And I hate to think about what could’ve happened if you were in the room when that sick person broke in."

I sighed and looked down to my hands. I didn’t know what to say, no one had ever offered me so much kindness and hospitality before in my life. When I looked up, Sebastian was watching me with an intense stare. His features softened when I smiled.

"Fine." his small smile stretched into a huge grin. "But, you have to tell me how I can show how thankful I am."

"You can show me your gratitude by accepting my offers."

I rolled my eyes at him.

"And you could carry on making me coffee in the morning."

______________________________________________________

"Now this," Sebastian smirked, grabbing my hand and yanking me inside a pokey corner-shop cafe. "Is the best pizza place in the entire city."

"Have you been to every single pizza restaurant in the whole city?"

"As a matter of fact I have." he grinned again, his perfect teeth glimmering down at me. "Table for two, please."

As the waiter lead us to our table at the back of the restaurant Sebastian slipped my denim jacket off my shoulders that I’d picked up when we returned to the hotel to get my stuff before heading out to grab some lunch before the bar opened. He pulled out my chair and hung the jacket across the back of it.

"Now Venice," Sebastian once we sat down. "I have had the pleasure to be in your presence for almost a day now so I feel obliged to know more about you. So, Boston? You grew up there?"

"Yeah, I did. Born and raised."

"Why did you leave, you got family here?"

"Nope, all of my family live in Boston. Well, the family that I was in contact with did, and there wasn’t much of that."

"What do you mean?" he asked with furrowed eyebrows.

"Well, my mother became quite detached from her relatives once my dad died, and that was almost fifteen years ago so I haven’t heard from any of them in a long time."

"Oh." his eyes flickered to the floor for a second and I swore I noticed a hint of a tear. "That sucks. You know, not having a big family. I guess I’m used to that."

"It’s OK, I’m used to this."

"Is that why you ran away?"

"I guess. I mean, my mother is a cold-hearted bitch and my boss was the biggest douchebag I’ve ever met so it was kind of a no-brainer."

The left side of his lip twitched at my dismissive attitude towards my mother.

"Can I take your order?"

I jumped slightly. I’d forgotten we were even in a restaurant and I hadn’t thought of looking at the menu. I looked up to Sebastian who quickly scanned over the piece of card before folding it and looking up to the waiter.

"I’ll have the Americano with extra cheese and mushrooms, please."

"Excellent choice, sir. And you, miss?"

"Um, I think I’m gonna be boring and go with the Margherita." I smiled and passed my menu to the waiter.

"Coming right up."

Once the waiter had left, Sebastian turned and crossed his arms over the table, a habit of his that I had started to pick up on.

"You know, I’m very excited to hear you sing."

"I could showcase something for you right now?"

He let out an infectious laugh, throwing his head back and scrunching up his eyes. “I don’t think that would be a great idea.”

I chuckled along with him. “Not that kind of bar, right?”

His cheesy grin grew impossibly wider. “I think I’m bringing you out of your shell.”

I smiled. “Or maybe it’s the city.”

______________________________________________________

Once we finished our pizzas, paid the bill and had a few lengthy conversations ranging from our favourite theme parks to how much we hated our childhoods, we exited the pizza joint and started walking towards the bar.

"Now tell me, how are you enjoying the city so far? And you can deduct the break-in and the losing all your money cause I can imagine that could be a bit of a blow."

I smiled to myself. “I mean, apart from that everything has been quite spectacular.”

"Really?"

"Yeah. This place is such an upgrade from the Suburbs of Greater Boston. Seriously, this city is absolutely stunning."

I looked up and gazed at the glimmering lights and huge buildings. It still hadn’t sunk in yet, the fact that I was walking through the streets of New York City, my pace in sync with my lovely new friend.

"Well I’m glad you came,"

I glanced to him, cocking my eyebrow. “How so?”

"I don’t really have any friends in this place. I mean, it’s so busy, people everywhere and you’re constantly meeting new people and stuck with old ones yet I just… I always seem to feel so alone. I don’t know, it’s weird . I guess I feel like I can’t relate to anyone. You’re the first person I’ve met where I actually want to spend time with."

"That’s got to be the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to me."

He blushed and looked at the ground, a soft smile on his face. He chewed his lip a little before looking up to me with sparkly blue eyes.

"Come on," he took my hand in his and pulled me along the busy street. "We have a bar to tend."


	3. Chapter 3

There were things that I was starting to notice about Sebastian. Little habits that he always seemed to do. I noticed that he would always lean on the nearest surface and cross his arms if someone was talking. I noticed that his eyes crinkled up until you couldn’t see them when he laughed. I noticed that he would always grab my hand and pull on it if he wanted my attention. I noticed that he would always lick his lips before he talked. He had so many little habits that I picked out, and I couldn’t help but stare when the muscles in his arms flexed when he crossed them or when his tongue flicked out and moistened his pink lips. 

When he first asked me to become his roommate I instantly became nervous. I hadn’t realized that I was starting to grow feelings for him until I was walking past the bathroom and I caught a glimpse of his stark naked back getting ready for a shower. It all hit me like a truck then and I started having fantasies of him pinning me against a wall and having his dirty way with me.

My hopes were completely fucked over when I found out he actually needed me to move in because he couldn’t pay the rent. I accepted, obviously, but I had to wait until he was definitely asleep before I substituted for the pleasure I imagined him giving me.

Working at the bar had it’s ups and downs. The main pro was that I got to spend four hours talking to Sebastian but the con weighed that down almost to the bottom. I found myself becoming incredibly jealous of the three beautiful girls who performed for the customers every day. Megan, Sylvia and Lucy were heart-stoppingly stunning, each with the voice of an angel and a body that would make a supermodel cry. In short, they were perfect and I could never live up to them. I didn’t have one shred of a chance, and I’d already proven that all I can do is make a cocktail and hand it over the bar. I didn’t even look good in my all black get-up and apron so I could never pull off the skimpy, sparkly outfits the girls wore.

One day Sebastian caught me gazing.

"You still going to that audition?" Sebastian asked, making me jump out of my skin and nearly spill a pint of Becks all over myself. "It’s this Saturday."

I didn’t really have the heart to tell him, he’d been so consistent in talking about it all the time. Whenever the bar was quiet and we leaned against the counter to watch the girls perform he would mention it, saying how he was so excited to hear me sing.

"I think I’m having second thoughts."

"What? No, you can’t."

"Well, apparently I can because I’m having them."

"But what about your big dream?"

"I don’t know if I’m cut out for it." I sighed deeply. "You know, it sounds like a stupid fantasy now when I think about it."

"So you’re just gonna settle for bartending?"

I threw him a quizzical look. “Well, you did.”

"That’s cause I’m me,"

"What’s that supposed to mean?"

He sighed, fiddling with one of the beer taps and staring ahead of me. I had a feeling he was trying to avoid eye contact. “Well, you know, I can’t sing and I’m not attractive and I would never be able to wear one of those corset things.”

My heart skipped a beat when he said the second point. Was he implying that he found me attractive? Disregarding it, I retorted. “How do you know I can sing?”

"You said that you wanted to be on Broadway, and no one would drop everything and come to New York if they knew that they were a terrible singer."

Now I was the one trying to not catch his eye. I felt his intense stare burning into my side.

"Your problem is that you’re too self-conscious. You’ve convinced yourself that you’re not good enough and you’ve scared yourself out of doing it. The thing is, Venice, you just have to grab opportunities with both hands when they’re given to you, because things like these are rare and if you don’t you’ll regret it."

He paused his pep talk to serve a second round to a group of young men.

"And if you’re worrying about what other people are gonna think, you just need to delete that attitude completely because that’s whats gonna hold you back the most. Honestly, who gives a shit what other people think? You’re doing this for you, right? This is your dream, so fuck anyone who tries to take that from you. You need to do this, Venice. Not for me, but for you. I know that it’ll kill you if you don’t."

I chewed on my lip, hard. Seb had only known me for a bit over a week but he’d already sussed me out. He’d had time to pick up on my habits and mannerisms just like I had with him. He was obviously a good judge of character because he knew me as much as I did.

"Well, I’ve already told my dad that you’re going so, you’re going."

______________________________________________________

"D’you wanna watch a movie?"

I looked up from my phone to see Sebastian standing in front of the sofa with his hands on his hips. He was wearing a tight plain shirt with a pair of Footlocker sweatpants loosely hanging from his hips. The bar was closed on Mondays and Tuesdays and we’d unanimously decided to have a lazy day.

"Yeah, sure."

"I’m in the mood for a horror film." he plonked himself down on the couch next to me.

"I’m down, as long as it’s not too gory."

"Have you seen The Last House on the Left?"

"No, is it good?"

"It has Aaron Paul in it-"

"We’re watching it."

He laughs loudly, grabbing his Macbook from the coffee table. He shuffled up next to me, our thighs touching, once the movie started. Every time there was a part with blood he would jokingly cover my eyes with his hands and when I jumped out of my skin at a scary part he would throw his head back laughing. Half way through the film I noticed him playing with the ends of my hair, his arm resting over my shoulders.

My heart was racing faster than I knew it could. I had never been this close to him. Our hands had brushed and we’d bumped into each other a few times when coming out of rooms or round corners but this was as close as we’d been. I could feel his heavy breathing on my neck and when I lifted my head to look at him he was staring down at me.

Before I could comprehend what was happening my face was between his soft palms and his lips were on mine. My mouth instantly moved against his, like I’d dreamed about for the past week. I carefully moved his laptop out of the way, the neglected movie still playing to itself.

He pulled me on top of him so I was straddling his lap but without breaking the kiss. He slipped his tongue between my lips while his arms snaked around to rest on the small of my back.

My head was spinning. I had convinced myself that he had no interest in me other than friendship. He’d made the first move. He kissed  _me_.

I’ve had boyfriends before, I’ve kissed people before and I’ve had sex before. But no one had ever made me feel like this. My heart was beating and one million miles per hour, butterflies were raging in my stomach and my head felt lighter than cotton wool.

I had no idea what this control was that Sebastian had over me. He made me feel a thousand and one crazy feelings within ten days of knowing each other. When he picked me up and carried me to his bedroom, his hand sliding up my top, I worried if I was in too deep.


	4. Chapter 4

I woke up at 4AM with Sebastian’s arms locked around my waist. I could feel his soft snores tickle my neck and his chest rise and fall against my back. I struggled in his grasp, wriggling underneath the covers and using my heels to try and haul myself out of his strong hold. As I moved, his arms would just tighten around me, moaning inaudibly. I wrestled more before toppling off the side of the bed and landing with a thud, bringing Sebastian down with me.

"Owww.." we both whined simultaneously. 

"Venice… why are you trying to kill us in the middle of the fucking night?" he joked, nudging my nose with his.

"I… I just needed the loo."

Something changed in his eyes once I finished my sentence. His hand raised to caress my cheek and a hint of a smile flickered on his face.

"So beautiful." he barely whispered.

My face flushed, heat creeping up behind my ears. I shifted to the side, wanting to break eye contact. A shiver shot up my spine when my bare back hit the cool vinyl flooring.

"Hey," he caught my chin and tilted my head towards him, his blue eyes searching my face. "Look at me."

"What?" I mumbled.

"Why are you so shy?"

"What do you mean?"

"You have nothing to be shy about."

My eyebrows drew together. “You can’t just order someone to not be shy.”

"I know," he tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear, his hand loitering there for a while. "I’m sorry. You’re just so… stunning."

I smiled with my teeth, blushing more. “Thank you.”

"You’re welcome." he sighed. "I feel like I’ve rushed you into things."

"No, no. It’s fine. I wanted to do that."

"Good. Cause I’d hate myself forever if I knew that you didn’t."

We stared at each other for a bit. He would wind some of my hair around my fingers whilst holding my gaze. He was mesmerizing. I’d never seen a man so utterly attractive before. He was incredibly toned for a bartender, and his eyes were so incredibly blue. It might’ve just been the lighting, but they were so bright, two perfect topazes, glimmering in the dawn light.

"Do you wanna go on a date?" he blurted out, breaking the silence.

I giggled. “A date?”

"Yeah," he said with a lopsided smile. "A date."

"I would love to."

"Good," he effortlessly jumped up from the floor, sticking a hand out to help me up. I grabbed it and he hauled up. I tripped over the duvet that we’d pulled down when we fell off the bed and stumbled towards him. He caught me with both arms, chuckling at my clumsiness. "In the meantime, I’m going to sleep and you’re going to pee."

______________________________________________________

"Where are we going?"

My hand was tucked inside Sebastian’s as we waded through the busy Tuesday morning hustle. The sky had cleared, which meant it was T-shirt and jean weather, which was the highlight of my day so far.

"In honor of the beautiful weather this morning, I am taking you to Central Park."

I grinned, excitement stirring inside of me. “Really?”

"Yep."

"I’ve never been before."

"I know you haven’t, that’s why I picked it." He grinned, tugging on my hand. "Come on!"

Since Sebastian had so wonderfully planned our date in such short-notice, we ended up waking up late, getting showered and dressed and then taking to short walk straight to the huge park. It wasn’t particularly busy, being that it was a Tuesday afternoon and most people would be at work or school. We walked around the park, our hands swinging between us, chatting mindlessly about anything to nothing.

"OK, let’s play a game."

"A game?" I laughed, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Yes, a game." he chuckled, shaking his head as if to say ‘I’m not a complete child’. "Let’s play quickfire, one person asks the other five questions then we switch."

"Alright, shoot."

"OK, favourite film?"

"Easy, Red Dawn. The new one, the old one was shitty."

"Right. favourite song?"

"Damn… it’s gotta be I Don’t Care by Fall Out Boy."

"Interesting. Other than your voice, can you play any instruments?"

"I can play guitar, piano and I used to take clarinet lessons at school."

A stared ahead of us as we walked, a ghost of a smile playing at his lips. “Other than New York, where would you move to?”

"Florida, or California."

"OK, last one. Favourite book?"

I chewed my lip for a second before answering. “Bog Child by Siobhan Dowd.”

He suddenly stopped walking, looking at me with wide eyes. I filled with concern. “You’re kidding, right?”

"Why would I be kidding?"

"Because that’s my favourite book aswell."

"You’re lying!"

"I’m not, I swear."

"Prove it, what’s the main character’s name?"

"Fergus McCann."

"Holy shit. You son of a bitch."

"I thought no one had heard of it!"

We sat down at a bench, our fingers still entwined. I crossed my legs whilst he shuffled up against me, our thighs pressed against eachother. “Me too, I would always talk about it at school, and her other books but no one had read them.”

"That’s so weird." he mused, leaning back on the bench.

"I know," I looked up at the sky. Two birds were flying above our heads, circling each other as if they were in the midst of a chase. I watched them for a few minutes with a smile on my face. "Maybe it’s fate trying to tell us something."

He let out a loud, boyish laugh, throwing his head back and crinkling his eyes the way he always did. He then turned his head to look at me, eyebrows high. “You believe in fate?”

"Hell no, you?"

"Nah, I think we all pick our own path. To me it seems kind of fascist that some greater presence decides what we do with our lives. Fuck that."

I grinned at him. It was music to my ears whenever he spoke his mind, I’d never met someone who I agreed with on so many different things. I couldn’t believe that I had found him.

"I know what you mean."

"So, Red Dawn, huh? You never struck me as a hardcore patriot."

"I’m not, I just love Chris Hemsworth."

He bared his teeth, a small chuckle escaping. “Venice Richards, you are fantastic, did you know that?”

"Sebastian Stan, I did not know that, can you believe."

"Well now you do."

I didn’t have chance to retaliate with anything before his hand was at the back of my neck and his lips were on mine.

______________________________________________________

It was dark by the time we decided to return to our apartment. We’d gotten pizza from the same place that he took me in our first few days of knowing each other. His arm was wrapped around my waist as we strolled down our small street.

"I had a lot of fun today." I admitted, watching the floor as we walked. Our feet paced the pavement in synchronization.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, I did."

"Enough to do it again?"

"Definitely."

He smiled to himself but I caught it in the corner of my eye. He seemed to be blushing, as if he was really proud of himself. He looked adorable.

"I had fun to."

"Good."

I took the steps in our building two at a time, racing Sebastian up the stairs. Once I reached the door I placed my hand on the frame, spinning to him with a huge grin. He slowly clambered up the last step, pretending to look defeated and out of breath.

"I win!"

"Oh no!" he whined, with fake oppressiveness. "I feel so  _emasculated_! It’s a travesty!”

I sniggered, leaning my head against the doorframe while he unlocked our flat. He copied my stance, watching me for a moment.

"You know what," he said, taking my hand and gently fiddling with my fingertips. "Screw taking it slow."

He yanked my smaller body into his, crashing our lips together. Tugging me into the apartment he wound his fingers into my curly hair. I jumped up, wrapping my legs around his waist while he tugged my tshirt over my head. We stumbled clumsily into the bedroom, desperately ripping off clothing, lips never breaking contact.

 


	5. Chapter 5

”Are you nervous?”

I jumped out of my skin when Sebastian popped up behind me, grabbing my shoulders with his big hands. He grinned at my reflection in the mirror, my shock at his sudden entrance obviously amusing him.

"I’m terrified."

"Well don’t be," his arms snaked round my waist, gently nudging my body backwards, my back pressed against his chest. He kissed my cheek before resting his chin on my shoulder. "You’re gonna be great."

"I just don’t want to embarrass myself."

"You won’t, you’ll be fantastic. Trust me."

"How do you know?" I watched him in the mirror, cocking one of my eyebrows.

He smirked slightly before replying. “Cause I heard you in the shower this morning.”

I spun around, looking at him in horror. A devious smile graced his plump lips, teasing me. “You  _what_?!”

"You were really good,"

"You were listening to me while I showered! You can’t do that… that’s like reading my diary!"

"Oh, please go ahead and explain how that’s like reading someone’s diary. Besides, I wasn’t trying to listen in, you were being very loud."

I slapped my face with my hand. “Oh God…”

He took my hands in his, pulling forward until our faces were inches apart. “Venice, you’re a wonderful singer. You have nothing to worry about.”

I sighed deeply. “Do I look OK?”

"You look beautiful," he grabbed my hand and tugged me into his arms. I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head against his chest. He buried his face in my hair, peppering wet kisses along my neck.

A muffled “NEXT!” rang out from behind the stage door.

"Go get ‘em, baby."

_______________________________________________________

I finished the last line of Christina Aguilera’s Bound To You, holding the note until I needed to breathe. My eyes were shut throughout the last half of the song, too scared to watch Sebastian’s father and his work associates’ faces while they reacted to my singing. When I finished and the music stopped it was silent for a painfully long time until a loud applause broke out.

"Sebastian, why the hell have you been hiding this girl behind the bar all this time?"

"I told you she was great," Sebastian said smugly from the back, using his leg to kick himself off the bar where he was leaning, arms folded.

"That was brilliant," his father’s deep voice bounced off the walls of the club. He crossed over to the front of the stage and held out a hand to help me jump down. "That’s one set of lungs you’ve go on ya, girl."

"Thank you so much."

"I want you to start working right away," the older man said, looking down at me with sincerity. "Between you and me, you’re better than all the girls and guys we have. All of them. I would put you as the main act, but that would cause a bit of a riot. Do you know all the songs?"

"Um, most of them." I chewed my lip, blushing at his compliments.

"OK, well any songs that you want to sing, just tell the band. We’ll get the choreographer to run them over and see what she wants to do with them. You don’t have to go up today if you don’t want to, just whenever you’re ready. We’ll probably end up writing a whole new show, but it will be worth it."

He grabbed my chin and smiled. “Everyone’s gonna want to come and see you sing.”

He clapped his hands together and turned around. “Alright, let’s open!”

I rolled my eyes as I watched Sebastian saunter up to me, a smug smirk on his face.

"What did I tell you?"

I bit my lip, chuckling behind my teeth.

"You were amazing," he whispered, his hands rubbing my arms. "I’ve never heard anything that could compare to your voice."

"Oh, stop it."

"I’m serious. It’s incredible. I don’t know what sound I prefer, how you sing or how you moan when I-"

“ _Sebastian_ ,” I hissed, hitting his arms playfully.

"Come on," he slipped his hand in mine, threading our fingers together. "Let’s go serve some drinks."

_____________________________________________________

Usually Sebastian and I would chat aimlessly while we worked. Tonight, the hours went by slowly and they mainly consisted of lust-filled glances and dirty nothings whispered in ears. Sebastian would torture me with his sexy smirk and I would retaliate by ‘accidentally’ brushing my hand against his crotch or butt when reaching for something.

We could hardly keep our hands off eachother whilst we walked home.

"Top or bottom?" Sebastian mumbled into my lips. We stumbled into the apartment, desperately grabbing at eachother’s clothing and ripping it off.

"What?"

"Do you wanna top or not?"

"Why?"

"Because I wanna top tonight but you might also and I just thought we could negotiate, cause you always top."

"As a matter of fact, I do wanna top. Because I like it."

"Let’s flip a coin,"

I could barely stop myself from laughing as he fumbled in his pockets for a coin to flip.

"I can’t believe we’re flipping a coin to see who gets to top while we fuck."

"Wow, you make it sound so romantic." he placed the coin on his thumb and looked at me expectantly. "Heads or tails?"

"Tails," I said crossing my arms.

He threw the coin into the air then caught it in his right hand, slapping it against his arm. A smug smile grew on his puffy lips. “It’s heads.” he said, triumphantly.

"Fuck you," I grabbed his tie and dragged him towards the bedroom.

_____________________________________________________

I woke up late morning to an empty bed. I rolled over and felt something tickle my face. Sebastian had left a note on the pillow along with a cup of coffee and an English muffin on the bedside cabinet.

_'Gone to grab some groceries, made you breakfast. - Seb xxx.'_

It amazed me how the sultry, seductive man that I had sex with last night could transform into such an adorable, sweet thing.

I read one of Sebastian’s many books in bed whilst I ate the breakfast he made me. As it was a Sunday I decided to stay in my pajamas until work started then have a shower when we got back.

Knowing there was nothing productive to do, I plonked myself on the sofa and looked for a movie to watch. I scrolled through everything that was on demand and finally decided on  _She’s Out Of My League_. I helped Sebastian with the many shopping bags when he returned half way through the film. We put everything away and then returned to the couch, snuggling up together to finish the comedy. My phone rang just before the ending from the other room. I reluctantly left our spooning session to go and pick it up.

I grabbed the phone and pressed ‘Answer’ without looking at the caller ID.

"Venice, it’s your mother."


	6. Chapter 6

Impulsively, I hit decline as soon as I heard my mother’s voice on the other end of the line. It didn’t take long to occur to me that she would probably fly out to New York and hunt me down herself if we didn’t do it now. And I would rather we talk over the phone than face to face as confrontation is one of my biggest weaknesses. So I picked up the phone and painfully punched her number it, the inevitable conversation resuming.

"What the hell were you thinking?" my mother snapped as soon as she picked up the line on the first ring. 

"Mom, let me explain-"

"No, you will listen to me young lady. Are you crazy? New York? The stupid little Broadway dream was cute when you were eight, but I thought you would’ve grown out of it by now. And you didn’t even have the audacity to tell your own  _mother_  that you were leaving state!”

"Why do you care so much? You never seemed to give a shit about me when I lived with you, so surely that would be a burden lifted?" 

"Venice Richards, watch your mouth! How dare you talk to your mother like this? What happened to you?"

"I grew up, mother. I found a career path and I’m following it."

"Venice?" my head snapped up when Sebastian called my name from the other room.

"Who was that?" she pressed. "Was it a boy? You’re seeing someone?"

"Yes, mother, I’m seeing someone. Not that it matters to you at all."

"You’ve been in New York for little less than a month and you’re already sleeping with someone? Way to spread yourself too thin, Venice."

"I am not spreading myself too thin. I am perfectly capable-"

"I want you home."

I sighed deeply, lifting a hand to rub my temples in annoyance. Sebastian entered, eyebrows drawn. He opened his mouth but I silenced him with my hand. 

"I’m not coming home." 

"Venice, I want you to come home  _right away_.”

"Jane, I am living here and that’s it. I have a stable job, a lovely boyfriend and good apartment and I am not leaving it. Take it or leave it, I’m not coming home."

I heard the short end of a gasp before I angrily pushed the ‘end call’ button. I collapsed on the foot of the bed, head falling into my hands. The mattress dipped next to me, Sebastian’s comforting arm snaking around my shoulders. He rested his head against mine. 

"Who was that?" he asked softly into my hair. 

"My mom,"

"Oh." 

We sat in silence for a few minutes before Sebastian’s arms circled my waist, hoisting me up then chucking me over his shoulder. I squealed in delight, playfulling beating my fists against his muscled back. 

"Put me down!" I screamed, laughing joyously. 

"NEVER!" he carried me into the living room then threw me on the couch. I put my arms behind my head and crossed my legs, satisfied with my reclined position. Sebastian smiled down at me then grabbed my feet, tickling relentlessly.

"NO! SEB, STOP! PLEASE! I SURRENDER!"

"Ah, so she’s ticklish! I did it! I found her weakness!" he jumped on top of me, his head going straight into the crook of my neck, I could feel his grin stretch out against my skin. I leaned in to peck his lips but he had other ideas. Grabbing my head in his warm hands, he deepened the kiss, tongue slipping between my lips and caressing my own. 

"You wanna do something fun?" he mumbled into my skin. 

"You wanna have sex?"

"No," he chuckled. "I mean, that would be nice but we can save that for later. In the meantime, what do you wanna do?"

"I don’t mind," I smiled at the beautiful boy lying on my chest, my finger traced the outline of his perfectly defined jaw. 

"How about… a picnic?"

"A  _picnic_?” I raised my eyebrows at him, trying to conceal a laugh. “What are we seven?

"Picnics are fun! Come on, I’m bored of Starbucks panini’s and microwaved pizza."

I got up from the sofa, grabbing both of his hands and hoisting him, with difficulty, to his feet. 

"Fine, let’s have a picnic."

A grin of accomplishment stretched across his face. “Yay. Now go get changed.”

He sneakily smacked my bum as I turned to leave.

___________________________________________________

Sebastian shook out the tartan picnic blanket, it took a while to sit on the soft grass due to the slight wind, then he plonked himself down in one corner, crossing his long legs.

"You never told me what your mom wanted on the phone?" he asked, watching me sit down and empty the picnic basket. Whilst I showered and changed Sebastian had let his domestic skills out of the cage and made a dozen sandwiches and filled the small basket with chips and cakes and other goods.

"Oh, you know," I sighed, throwing a packet of Cheetos at his head. He caught it in one hand before it hit his face with a smug smile. "She was moaning cause I never called her before I left."

"You didn’t tell her you were moving?"

"Of course I didn’t. And even if I had people to tell, she’d be last on my priority list. I knew she’d act like that, and it’s bloody typical because she never seems to give a fuck about me any other time."

"Why was she so mad then?"

"I guess she doesn’t like the idea of me disobeying her. Actually, she’s probably just mad because now there’s no-one to wash her dishes."

"Do you think she’d be happy to know that you’re now washing my dishes."

I took a Cheeto out of my bag and threw it at his face. “Shut up. You know what, I don’t think she’d be best pleased to hear from you.”

"Why not?" he asked, wiping cheesy dust off his cheek with his hoodie sleeve.

"She practically called me a slut when I told her we were together."

He frowned. “You’re not a slut.”

"Thanks." I smiled.

He crawled over to me then pulled me into his lap, arms around my waist. “You are the most wonderful person I’ve ever met.”

"Really?"

"Honest to God. You’re hilarious, smart, cute, witty, beautiful…" he lowered his voice, his lips brushing my earlobe. "…and insane in the bedroom department."

"You were doing so well!" I grabbed his wrist and pinned him to the floor, straddling his legs.

"We always somehow end up in this position." he joked, a twinkle in his baby blue eyes.

"I wonder if you could go five minutes without saying something sexual." I leaned down and pecked his nose. He watched at me, his mouth slightly open and a shade of awe in his eyes.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I…I-"

"For God’s sake, Seb, spit it out."

"I think I’m in love with you."

 


	7. Chapter 7

My heart skipped a beat. Hell, my heart skipped several beats. I didn’t know what to say. Of course I wasn’t in love with him. Could you be in love with someone you’d known for a month? I wouldn’t know, as I had never been in love before. But I knew I wasn’t. I really liked Sebastian, he was so sweet and hilarious and insanely hot. Honestly, he was the most amazing man I had ever met. I was happy with him. Whenever we were together, even if it was just lying on the couch and watching a dumb movie, I was content. I wasn’t stressing out over stupid things or worrying about my mother when I was with him. I just… I couldn’t be in love with him. 

"Venice?" he was looking up at me, his eyes wide and his mouth pouty. He looked absolutely adorable and I just wanted to burst into tears.

"What time is it?" I blurted out. Instantly, I regretted it. His face fell, disappointment swarming in his glassy blue eyes.

I didn’t know what would hurt more, watching him realize his love was unrequited or lying to him. I couldn’t choose the latter. I couldn’t lie to him.

"We should probably go," I mumbled, rolling off him. I couldn’t look him in the eye as we packed up the untouched picnic, silently deciding to eat it for dinner.

We walked back to the apartment in painful silence. Sebastian would occasionally steal glances at me, but I didn’t have the angle to read his face. When we reached the flat I made a beeline for the shower. I stripped my clothes off and hopped inside the tiny cubicle. As soon as the hot stream beat down on my naked body I let the tears flow.

I cried and cried, my head resting against the cold shower wall. I cried for Sebastian, cause I knew that my stupid, selfish self had upset him. I felt heartless and pathetic. He couldn’t be in love with me, he had to be delusional. It just didn’t make any sense. I knew nothing, I knew shit all about love and how it worked but something was telling me that this wasn’t plausible. He couldn’t be in love with me. That’s not how it worked. If anything, I should be the one head over heels for him while he wasn’t as interested. He was perfect. He was toned, and pretty-faced and he had great hair and he was just _perfect_  in every way. He wasn’t a douche, he was selfless and adorable and it just didn’t make any sense.

I slammed my fist against the wall in frustration. I didn’t even know what love was. I’d never felt it before. Not for my family, not for anyone. How the fuck was I supposed to know when I was in love?

I let the water wash away my tears as I quickly washed my hair. I got ready in the bedroom to avoid Sebastian. When we left to go to work we didn’t say anything to eachother. His eyes were red and blotchy, I knew he’d been crying as well. I felt my heart literally ache. I just want to throw myself off a bridge. This was the last night we would be working together at the bar and I knew it would be long and miserable.

_____________________________________________

For some reason I had expected the girls to be really stuck up and obnoxious. But after hours, all three of them approached me and asked if I wanted to go to dinner with them. I didn’t even look at Sebastian as he dried glasses and put them away before I accepted.

"Where do you wanna go?" Megan asked cheerfully as we strutted down the dark streets. She hooked her arm with mine. They were all obviously very close and thankfully they liked me enough to share their friendliness with me.

"I honestly don’t mind."

"OK, well I’ll pick then," Sylvia said with a grin. "Because I’m paying."

We entered a small Italian place a few blocks down from my apartment building. Sylvia asked for a table at the back and the waiter led us to a booth at the back of the restaurant.

"If you need anything, just ask for Sebastian."

My heart stopped. The waiter had shaggy blonde hair and tanned skin, he looked nothing like my Sebastian but it’s just what I needed, for him to have that name.

"Mmm," Lucy hummed. "Speaking of. You and Seb?"

They all looked at me expectantly.

"What do you mean?"

"Don’t even try and deny that you two aren’t a thing. We have eyes."

"Yeah, but it’s not serious."

"It sounds serious!" Megan sipped loudly on her water. "Robert always saying how Sebastian can never stop talking about you. And you’re living together right?"

"Yeah, but that’s different-"

"I’ve been with my boyfriend for three years and we’re still not living together."

"My place got ransacked on the first night I came here and Sebastian practically forced me to stay with him. And he’s struggling with rent so I’m staying there so we can split it. We’re just roommates."

"So you’re not together?"

"No, we are. It’s just…"

"Just what?"

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, knowing that all three girls were staring at me intensely, waiting for their answer.

"It’s just something that happened today, we’re kind of not talking to eachother."

The waiter approached again and took our order, making a break in the conversation. As soon as he took our menus and left the girls leaned in again, eyebrows raised.

"What happened?" Sylvia asked, a twinkle in her emerald eyes.

"He said he was in love with me," they all gasped. "And I changed the subject."

“ _What_?”

"I didn’t know what to do! I couldn’t lie to him, so I just acted on impulse. I feel so bad… I know I can’t be in love with him, we haven’t been together that long."

"How can you not be in love with that hunk of meat?"

I frowned, choosing to let that comment slide. I didn’t like the way Megan talked about him, but seeing as this was our first proper conversation and I needed some friends right now, I didn’t bring it up.

"I think you need to talk to him." Lucy said, a reasonable, motherly face on. "In fact, go now."

"Now?"

"Yes, now. If he’s at home on his own he’ll be going to sleep soon. Go now and you might just catch him."

"What about my food?"

"We’ll cancel the order." Sylvia said, "Go!"

I grabbed my bag and jacket and left the restaurant swiftly. I seemed to have a thing with leaving food untouched.

______________________________________

"Sebastian?" I called out once I entered the flat, sliding the chain and bolting the handle. "Sebastian?"

He wasn’t in the kitchen-living area, and I couldn’t hear any running water so he must be asleep. I stripped myself of my jacket and shoes then padded into the bedroom. He was sprawled out across the queen-size bed, in just his boxer briefs. I slipped into my pajamas and brushed my teeth before crawling under the corner of duvet he’d left usable. I nudged him gently.

"Seb? Seb, wake up."

He groaned, rolling over so his face was looking up to the ceiling. I shook his arm again.

"Sebastian, please wake up."

And that’s when I noticed the empty vodka bottle lying on its side on the bedside cabinet. He’d been drinking. I glanced into the kitchen through the open bedroom door. A few wine glasses were scattered across the counter, a puddle of red liquid at the bottom of each.

"Sebastian." I hissed.

“ _What_ …”

"Wake up, we need to talk."

He moaned again, rubbing his face with his hands. His eyes were red and he had dark bags under them. He sat up and winced. Not once did he look at me.

"What is it?"

"I hate this constant awkward silence."

"You’re the one who started it," he snapped, making me jump slightly. He grabbed a shirt from the floor and pulled it over his head, back to me.

"Sebastian, you can’t just expect me to.. Can you look at me while I’m talking to you?"

He spun around and pinned me with a harsh gaze. This was a side of him I had never seen before, and I was scared.

"What?" He hissed. My heart was beating so loudly in my ears that I barely heard it.

"Why are you so pissed off at me?"

A slightly sinister smile spread across his face. “Oh, Venice, I’m not pissed off at you. I’m pissed off at myself. You did nothing wrong, baby, it was all me.”

He stormed out of the room and I followed after him. I watched him root through the fridge and pull out a bottle of beer, terrified.

"You did nothing wrong, Seb." I barely whispered.

"You’re kidding right? I’m a stupid, fucking obsessive mess."

"You’re not a-"

"Stop talking." he ripped off the cap of the bottle and spat it out onto the floor. "I’m hopelessly in love with you, Venice. I love you so much. And you know what, this always happens. I devote myself to people who don’t give a shit about me. And I always end up passed out on the floor with no one who loves me. It’s how it is, and it’s time to accept that."

"Please, I do care about you, I.. I just."

"Do you know what it feels like, Venice, to have absolutely no one? To know that everyone you care about has a million other priorities above you. It’s destroying me. You have no idea what it’s like to be so incredibly lonely  _all the fucking time_.”

I took a deep breath. “Actually, yes, I have an idea. I have a very vivid idea of what it’s like, Sebastian. Never in my whole entire life have I ever felt loved. I have never,  _ever_  felt important to anyone. I barely knew my father, I was a result of a one-night stand and this care home forced him to spend time with me but he never did. He was an alcoholic and he drove himself off a bridge when I was nine. I didn’t even know his name. At school, I had no friends. Not a single one. The teachers hated me because I wasn’t smart enough and all the kids thought I was a freak because I wore cheap dirty clothes and I never spoke. My mother never gave a shit about me, she would leave me home alone to clean and cook from the age of ten and when I turned fifteen she pulled me out of school and forced me to work for her shithead brother at his crappy diner. He would make me feel like shit everyday, he’d call me worthless and ugly and he never paid me. The only person I had was the girl I worked with and even so, I couldn’t tell her anything and she didn’t talk to me outside of work. So I know just exactly how you feel. I’ve felt alone my whole life.”

Sebastian’s features had change during my breakdown. He looked pained.

"Don’t cry," he choked. He slowly walked towards me before pulling me into a hug. I wrapped my arms around his waist, sobbing into his chest while he embraced my shoulders, one hand supporting my head. "Please don’t cry, baby, I hate to see you cry."

"I don’t know if I’m capable of loving you, cause I don’t know what it is." I sniffed. "But I do know that you are the most amazing person I’ve ever met in my whole life and waking up next to you each day gives me the most incredible feeling. I don’t know if that’s love, it could be. I’m not sure.. I just- I’m so confused."

"Does this feel right?" he whispered into my hair.

"Does what?"

"Right now. This.  _Us_. Does it feel right?”

"Y-yes." I said without hesitance.

"I love you." Sebastian breathed.

We held eachother in silence for what seemed like hours.

"I- I love you too."

 


	8. Chapter 8

”Thank you.” I said, taking my change and grabbing the two takeaway coffees. Megan smiled and gratefully took one of the cups.

"So, you back on good terms with Sebastian?"

"I guess you could say that,"

Megan had practically forced me into coming with her to look around Brooklyn with her before going to rehearsals. Apparently, it was like walking in an independent film, especially when you’re sipping on a fresh coffee from one of the street stalls. So here we were, strolling through the cute French-like streets, drinking a cheap, sweet latte.

"Oooh, fill me in!"

"When I got back he was passed out in bed, completely hammered. When I woke him up he was pissed off and he kept ranting about how no one cared about him and how in love with me he was and I don’t know- It kind of just hit me? It was like it physically  _hurt_  me, seeing him in that sort of pain. He just kept yelling and usually I get terrified when I’m around drunk people, a childhood thing, but I wasn’t scared of him. I just wanted to comfort him.”

"So you do love him?"

"Yeah," I breathed, a stupid grin on my face. "I do."

"Aww! That’s so sweet! And then did you have hot, steamy make-up sex afterwards?"

“ _Megan_.” I hissed, whipping my head around to see if anyone had heard us. An old lady tutted at us as she walked past, dragging a rickety suitcase behind her. 

Megan snorted with laughter. “I mean, did you?”

"Not that it’s  _any_  of your concern, yes we did.”

"Girl, I wish I was you."

"Yeah, you do."

Megan suddenly grabbed my wrist, bringing us to a halt in front of a small bookshop. It had dozens on window panels, and the frame was painted a pale green.

"Oh my god, this is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen," she said, with a face like she’d just seen the eighth wonder of the world. "We’re going in."

She pulled me inside by my wrist. The way she manhandled me reminded me of Sebastian and the way he always grasped my hand, entwining our fingers before dragging me this way and that like a little child tugging their mother towards the ice cream stand.

"You don’t strike me as a reader."

"Didn’t your mother ever tell you to never judge a book by it’s cover?" she said, with a smug smile, obviously proud with her fitting metaphor.

"No, my mother didn’t tell me a lot of things," I mumbled to myself. If Megan heard, she chose to ignore it.

"God," she picked up a paperback with a colourful covering and wrinkled her nose in disgust. "What is it with all these shitty dystopian novels? Come on, let’s go find something worth looking at."

I followed her round the corner into another aisle. The store was small and books that couldn’t fit on the tightly-packed shelves were piled up along the poster covered walls. The novels were organized by author instead of genre, which was obviously not going to beneficial to us due to Megan’s specific taste.

"I swear there is a new book about cancer kids in love every freakin’ week. There’s a million fucking diseases out there, couldn’t they be more creative?"

I nodded, chewing my lips and browsing the vast array of books. I wasn’t much of a reader, I just had a few books that I loved the hell out of and read again and again. My head snapped up, an overwhelming sense that I was being watched came over me. I quickly shook it off once I saw a grin grace Megan’s face as she reached up to a bookshelf, knowing I was being paranoid.

"Nick Hornby, perfect." Megan picked out two books and handed me one. I held it with eyebrows raised. "Please tell me you’ve read Hornby?"

"Uhh… I think I’ve seen, like, a movie about-"

"Man, you need educating. OK, this is High Fidelity, fucking awesome. And you have to read About the Boy, jesus. Oh no, A Long Way Down, god I fucking love that book. OK, we’re getting these."

"All three?"

"Yes, all three. And then you’re watching the films. A Long Way Down is the best, even though it’s so wildly inaccurate, the character portrayal is phenomenal. Someone seriously needs to give Imogen Poots an Oscar."

_____________________________________

"Sebastian, I’m home!"

"Wait, wait, wait! Don’t come in!" I heard him run through to the front hall, bumping into things as he went while I hung up my coat and bag.

"Oh God, what have you done?"

"Nothing, just, close your eyes." he was in front of my now, and I could feel his shallow breathing on my face. His large, warm hands slid up my arms before spinning me around.

"Great, have we reached the point where you tie me up and rape me?"

He chuckled softly behind me. “Just trust me.”

"I do trust you." I said with sincerity, changing the mood from jokey to serious.

"You do?"

"Of course I do." Our voices had dropped in volume to whispers. Sebastian held my shoulders, his palms slightly sweaty and shaking.

"Then follow me," he said it with slight hesitance, as if he didn’t know whether he trusted himself.

My eyes were squeezed shut as he slowly lead me threw the flat. My heart pounded with anticipation, I racked my brain trying to look for a possibility that Sebastian would surprise me with.

He leaned in until his hot breath tickled my ear. “Open your eyes.”

As soon as my eyes opened I let out a short gasp. Sebastian slowly strolled over to behind our small dining table. He was wearing his favourite black skinny jeans with a crisp white button down, his hair was slicked back at the sides and styled into a quiff at the top. He looked fucking amazing, and that’s what I’d gasped at. Not the flowers and fancy tablecloth and expensive china that decorated the table, but how dapper he looked. The food that was steaming on the plates smelled delicious, but I couldn’t keep my eyes off him. I’d never seen him so dressed up, the best I got was the black shirt and jeans he wore to work.

"W-what’s the occasion?"

"Well, you know," he shrugged, "You always say how we eat out too much and I… I just wanted to say sorry for last night. You know, with your dad, I think the last thing you’d want is to see me drunk. I just- I wanted to treat you."

I couldn’t contain my smile. “You’re the best, you know that?”

He walked back round the table, his pace quicker this time. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders, squeezing me in a tight embrace.

"I love you." he whispered into my hair.

My heart jumped. I wasn’t used to hearing those words, especially not in such an affectionate manner. He was amazing. He was so, so incredible.

"I love you too." I slowly replied, my head against his chest. I could hear his heart pumping, loudly. "Wait, you cooked?"

"Yeah, I did. I mean, dumping spaghetti and sauce out of a jar in some pans wasn’t particularly strenuous, but I didn’t set fire to anything."

"I’m proud of you," I rubbed my nose against his.

"Come on, let’s eat."

He held my chair out for me as I sat down, just like he had done when we went for pizza when we first met.

"What’s this?" I asked, holding up the wine glass that was filled with a purple liquid.

"Ribena. It’s all we had that didn’t have alcohol in it, so…"

"You are so cute."

"I do try."

We chatted and laughed about our day as we ate, Sebastian filled me in on the action movie he watched and how it took him an hour and a half to find the instructions for the pasta sauce, when they were on the back of the jar the whole time. I told him about Megan and I’s bookshop adventures and how she showed me around Brooklyn.

"I don’t know, I just find Brooklyn so boring. It just doesn’t have that same effect."

"I liked it. It reminded me of Boston in a way."

He smiled. “Do you miss it?”

"Not one bit." I laughed, sipping on my soft drink. A muffled noise distracted me from our conversation. it sounded like someone tripping over. "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"It sounds like someone’s inside." I shot up and went straight to the bedroom, searching for an intruder. I checked the hall but there was no one there either. The latch on the door was left open and I quickly ran over and locked it, breathing deeply and resting my head against the doorframe. I knew I was being stupid, paranoid like I was in the shop earlier. I tried to shake it off, but I was still on edge for the rest of the day.


	9. Chapter 9

_"This is amazing…" I gasped, looking out at the view from the top of the Empire State Building. You could see for miles, millions of tall buildings stick up like dominoes ready to topple down.  
_

_I turned my head to the side with a huge grin, searching for my boyfriend. Sebastian stood beside me, looking out at New York, fiddling the the ends of his sleeves._

_"Hey, you OK?" I asked, putting my hand on his arm. He jumped a little, his head snapping towards me. He forced a smile._

_"Yeah, I’m great."_

_I slid my arms around his waist, hugging tightly. “Thanks for bringing me up here, it’s beautiful.”_

_"Anything for you, sweetheart." We shared a quick, sweet kiss before he spun me around and wrapped his arms around me from behind. His breathing was hitched and slow, as if he was trying to control it. I could feel his heart pound against my back. I tried to read his body language, I felt like he turned me around so we couldn’t make eye contact. He seemed nervous, but I had no idea what for._

_I leaned my head against his shoulder and looked up at him. “I love you,” I whispered, leaving a little peck on his chin._

_"I- I need to tell you something."_

_I backed away from his embrace, holding a serious look now. “What?”_

_"I had to… um, I just had to tell you that I love you so much. I love you so much it’s impossible. Everyday waking up to you is… it’s just more than I could ever possibly ask for. I don’t… I can’t imagine life without you. I don’t want to."_

_He gulped, taking a deep breath before carrying on. “This is really hard for me, I don’t know how to say it, I-“_

_"Sebastian, what are you… What are you trying to say?" My heart pumped at a million miles an hour. He was ending it. I knew it, he was breaking up with me. Tears pricked, threateningly at my eyes._

_"No, Venice.." He must’ve noticed my pained expression. "God, I love you so much. You’re the only thing that matters to me in this world, I don’t wanna lose you. Ever. I can’t lose you. I couldn’t live without you."_

_"Seb, what is it-"_

_Then it all happened so suddenly. At first, I didn’t know what he was doing as he crouched down to the floor and rested his body weight on his right knee, I thought he was tying his shoelaces - which were coincidentally loose - but my assumptions were contradicted once he pulled out little black box from his coat pocket._

_"I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Venice Richards. I want to wake up to your astonishing face every day until I die."_

_I struggled for air. My mouth had gone dry and I couldn’t think._

_"Marry me." he said. It wasn’t a question, it was as if he knew I would say yes._

_I suddenly forgot we were in a public place. It was just us two, and I wanted to cry and yell and laugh._

_I grabbed his collar and yanked him to his feet, crashing my lips against his. His hands rested on the small of my back as we kissed._

_"Was that a yes?" he pulled away breathlessly._

_"Of course that was a yes you fucking idiot! I love you so much."_

_He picked me up and spun me in a circle effortlessly. I giggled loudly. People were staring, some even smiling and aww’ing at our scene. Public engagement was obviously extremely adorable to strangers.  
_

_"We’re getting married!" I squealed in delight._

"Veeeeniiiice…"

My eyes flickered open to see Sebastian hovering above me.

"Wake up sleepy head," he laughed, kissing my cheek.

It was a dream. It had felt so vivid that I honestly thought it had actually happened, but reality was here, smiling above me clad in a tight muscle shirt and some boxer shorts.

"You were smiling in your sleep so I’m sorry if I interrupted a good dream but it’s almost two o’clock in the afternoon."

"Oh, shit." I gently shoved him away and clambering out of bed, searching for some jeans and a shirt to put on. Sebastian laughed as I hopped around, trying to pull some skinny jeans up my legs.

"You want to go out for breakfast? Or… lunch?"

"Yeah sure," I said, breathlessly, as I buttoned up my jeans. "I said I’d meet Megan and Sylvia at their flat an hour before rehearsals so I have time before then."

"Good," he grinned. "I made coffee, by the way. Just let me get dressed then we’ll go."

_________________________________________

"This is something that’s been bothering me for ages." Sebastian said, taking a bite out of his ham and cheese croissant. "Why Venice?"

I raised my eyebrows in confusion.

"I mean, it’s not a wildly popular name, where did it come from? I know it’s a place but… You know, why?"

I giggled. “My mother was obsessed with Italy. She named me after Venice because she loved it so much. We had paintings of the streets and some famous Italian monuments in our house.”

"Oh, that’s cool. I like it."

I shrugged. “I don’t. It’s weird.”

"Weird is good. You should embrace your weirdness, it makes you different."

"You would know, you’re king of weird."

"Well, excuse me for trying to be comforting and uplifting!" he threw his hands up in exasperation, earning a loud giggle from me.

"At least you tried."

I watched Sebastian wrap his lips around the rim of a bottle of orange juice. He tipped his head back and took a big gulp. I couldn’t stop thinking about my dream. It felt so real. Everything from the dull chatter of passers-by to the feeling of his skin on mine and the drum of my heart as he pulled out the beautiful ring. His lips felt so real on mine, I’d felt them a thousand times before, they were my home. It was real, it had to be.

But it wasn’t. We’d only known each other for a month and a half and this wasn’t a Disney movie. People don’t get engaged after such a short space of time. Even though I felt like I knew Sebastian so well, and I was definitely holding serious, passionate feelings for him. It was as if every time I looked at his face, everything was OK. I felt completely at ease when I was with him, like I had nothing to worry about. Sometimes I forgot the sole purpose of why I came to New York in the first place. Now it felt like I came here for him. I’m not a big believer in fate, but it felt right. He felt like my reason.

"Venice, are you OK?"

He snapped me out of my trance. “Yeah, sorry, I just… zoned out.”

"What’s on your mind?" his blue eyes were full of concern.

"Nothing… I was just daydreaming. Sorry, what were you saying?"

"I wasn’t saying anything, I was watching you."

My cheeks went hot. “Oh.”

"I don’t think I talk about how beautiful you are enough."

I looked at the floor, blushing furiously. “You don’t have to.”

"I do."

Those were the two words that I didn’t need to hear. “Sebastian…”

"What do you think of my dad?" he abruptly changed the subject, noting my embarrassment.

"Um, he’s lovely. Why?"

"I was just wondering. He can be a bit… harsh, sometimes. I just wanted to make sure he wasn’t making you feel uncomfortable or anything. He can be like that."

"What, like how you just made me feel?"

He laughed. “Sorry.”

I smiled at him. “It’s OK.”

We finished our breakfast and left the cafe. Our feet hit the pavement and Sebastian threaded our fingers together, squeezing gently before letting our hands fall and swing between us.

"Where are we going?"

"We’re going to buy a tonne of junk food then go back to our apartment and watch a film of your choice whilst cuddling on the couch."

"I have rehearsals tonight, I can’t eat junk food."

"Then you can dance it all off in your rehearsals!"

"It doesn’t work quite like that!"

We entered Whole Foods and Sebastian immediately dragged me to the fridges where they kept the ice-cream. He grabbed three tubs of different Ben and Jerry’s flavours and then dumped them in the basket.

"I don’t think we need that much…"

"Of course we do!" he scoffed, as if high-calorie ice cream was a necessity.

"Sebastian, you know I don’t even like ice-cream."

"I know, you hate ice-cream."

"Then why did you get three tubs?"

He pushed his eyebrows together as if it was a stupid question. “Why not?”

I rolled my eyes, laughing. I gently shoved him, walking out of the frozen foods aisle. “You are such a child!” I called out behind me.

We carried on around the supermarket, Sebastian would constantly pick up large amounts of a particular unhealthy item and try and stuff it in our basket to which I would have to put half of the quantity back, feeling like a mother scolding her seven year old son. Eventually, we made it to check out.

________________________________________

"We’re watching Anchorman!" Sebastian yelled when we entered our apartment, cannonballing himself onto the sofa. I’m surprised it didn’t collapse then and there, due to his large frame and muscles that weighed a tonne.

"You said I could pick!" I moaned, spilling the food out from the grocery bags onto the coffee table.

He groaned. “ _Fiiiiine_. But you’re gonna pick a stupid girly film or something with Aaron Paul in it.”

"OK, as I do recall it was  _you_  who said Aaron Paul was your favourite actor and the last film we watched was 27 Dresses which I think… Yeah I think it was  _you_  who picked it!”

He grabbed a pillow and buried his head in it. “OK, OK! You’ve uncovered my guilty pleasure, just pick something!”

"21 Jump Street?"

“ _Yes_.”

I found a blanket in the TV cabinet after putting the DVD in the player. I climbed onto the couch and snuggled into my boyfriend’s side, wrapping the blanket around us. His strong wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer to him. I rested my head against his chest, finding comfort in the calming beat of his heart.

I constantly kept looking up at him, not concentrating on the film one bit. I felt weak every time he laughed, his eyes crinkling like always. That was something I always hated feeling. Weak. All my life, people belittled me and made me feel feeble. But with Sebastian, it felt alright because I knew he would never hurt me. It’s not that he was the reason that made me strong, I’ve never been a powerless person, I just always doubted my potential until I met him. He was the light at the end of a dark, terrifying tunnel. Now I knew I could do anything and it was all thanks to him. I didn’t want to leave it at that, I wanted to bring him with me.

I leaned up and kissed his cheek, tenderly. We locked eyes, our faces less than an inch from each other. Sebastian’s eyes fluttered closed before our lips connected. We savoured each other as if this kiss would be our last. I wrapped my arms around his neck and straddled his waist, deepening the kiss. Sebastian kept mumbling ‘I love you, I love you’ against my lips, his hands gripping my hips desperately.

The intimate moment was interrupted by the shrill sound of a phone ringing. I rolled off him, laughing at the typical situation. Sebastian snickered, burying his head in my neck and rubbing his nose against the skin where my jaw met my ear.

His face dropped once we looked at the caller ID. He jumped up from the coach and swiftly left the room, muttering a gruff “I have to take this,” as he left.

 


	10. Chapter 10

Sebastian left the apartment without an explanation once he finished his phone call. I couldn’t concentrate on the film due to his disarrayed exit. I switched it off then got ready for bed. It was two in the morning when I finally gave up after sitting up in bed with the duvet wrapped around me waiting upon his return. I slept restlessly and dreamless. 

As soon as I woke up I fumbled around, desperately searching for the warmth of my partner. The bed was empty. I grabbed my phone from the side and scrolled through my contacts until I found his name.

_"This is Sebastian, sorry I couldn’t reach the phone right now. Please leave your name and number, thanks."_

I didn’t hear the phone ring so he wasn’t at home, making coffees in the kitchen like he usually did if he woke up before me. Waking up without his strong arms wrapped around me was something I had grown so used to, and it made me upset as well as putting me on edge. The reason why I went to sleep was so I could see his face, resting against the pillow opposite me, content in slumber when I opened my eyes.

I rang again. Voicemail.

I didn’t want to leave a message because I didn’t want to sound needy. That frustrated me a little, because it was his fault and I was worried about him. It was usually standard procedure to tell your girlfriend where you were going at 11 o’clock at night, especially if you were planning to stay the night.

"Where the fuck are you?" I muttered, to myself.

I got dressed, showered, made breakfast, watched an episode of Breaking Bad on Netflix and even cleaned the apartment and he still didn’t show up or call or text or anything. When it turned 6:30 and it was time to go to work, I was really angry.

I left Sebastian a resentful message and left the building. Megan could tell I was irate as soon as I pushed open the dressing room door.

"What’s up?" she said, while applying a bright red stain to her plump lips.

"Is Sebastian here?"

"No, not yet, why?"

I sighed, sitting in the chair next to her and staring at my flustered reflection in the mirror. “He left last night without a word and I haven’t heard from him since.”

"Did you guys fight?"

"No, we didn’t fight. We were… we were completely fine actually. In fact, we were making out on the couch and then his phone rang and he just… He just left. He didn’t even call or anything it’s so- It’s just not like him."

"He didn’t say anything about where he was going?"

"No! No, he didn’t. And he wouldn’t just  _not_  tell me where he was. I don’t know why he’s being such a tool.”

"He took his phone with him?"

"Yeah."

"And he’s not answering his calls?"

"No, he’s not."

"You know what you need to do,"

I raised my eyebrow after finishing my eyeliner. “What’s that?”

"When he gets back, which he will because I’ve known Sebastian for three years and he wouldn’t just do that to a girl, you should give him the silent treatment. Don’t let guys play you like that, seriously. Punish him. And you strike me as the kind of girl who doesn’t take shit from anyone."

"You mean I should just ignore him?"

"Ignore him, act bitter, spike his beer. Just make him pay for it. I’d do something more drastic if I was in your situation, to be honest. One time, Ben forgot to call me for three days when he went on vacation with his friends, I was so pissed off that I didn’t talk to him for three days when he got back. It works, and that was a really shitty thing for him to do."

"You’re right… OK, I’ll do it."

"That’s my girl."

David, one of the bartenders, poked his head through the door. “Five minutes until opening, ladies.”

"Let’s go put a show on."

___________________________________

I was so glad to have found friendship in those girls. Singing with them was so much fun, and the applause I received was something really incredible. I finally felt like coming to New York was a success. I felt that with Sebastian sometimes, but not at the moment. The night was a distraction from my growing grudge against him. As I packed my bags, said bye to the girls and left the lounge, a few customers that hung back after hours complimented me on my performance. I blushed and said thank you before rushing home.

When I opened the door I saw Sebastian sat at the breakfast bar, hunched over with a glass of whiskey in his hand. His head snapped up when I opened the door, dumping my bag and jacket on the floor and jiggling the chain across the latch.

"You’re home." He slurred.

"You’re drunk," I snapped, wrinkling my nose in disgust.

"Barely." he said, before taking a slug on the alcohol. I scoffed and left them room.

"Hey," he called out after me. "Where’s my kiss?"

"You don’t get one." I hissed, loudly.

I heard his heavy footsteps approaching as my body froze. I’d only seen him drunk once and I didn’t enjoy it one bit. I never enjoyed being around intoxicated people. Working around alcohol was fine, and I’d have a sip of champagne if I had to, but being in a room with someone after they’d been inebriated was my worst nightmare, I knew exactly how unpredictable, hurtful and dangerous they could be. It hadn’t even started but I was wishing it was over.

"What’s up with you?" he asked, no concern in his voice at all.

I span on my heel, a scowl marking my face. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

He didn’t say anything. He just looked at me, slightly bewildered.

"How dare you, how  _fucking_  dare you.  _'What's up with you?'_  What’s up with me? What’s up with  _you_?!”

"Venice, for fuck’s sake, what’s going on?"

"Typical," I snarled. "Fucking typical. I’m sorry, was it me who left late last night without a  _fucking_  word and then never came back until late the  _next_  night, hammered may I add, without even fucking calling!? No it wasn’t, it was you, Sebastian.”

"I’m sorry, Venice-"

"No, shut the fuck up. I don’t want to hear it. Go fucking finish your whiskey, I don’t care. But you’re sleeping on the couch."

I turned to leave but he grabbed my arm and spun me around. I struggled against him, hopelessly trying to free myself from his grip.

“ _Don’t touch me_ ,” I glared up at him, my tone dripping with venom. I was fuming now, if it were a cartoon there would be smoke shooting out of my ears.

"Jesus Christ, Venice, would you fucking listen to me for one second. I had a valid reason for leaving-"

"No you don’t, Sebastian. You have no reason whatsoever for not telling me where you were going in the middle of the night. How would you feel if I got up in the middle of a conversation or while you were sleeping or watching a movie and just left, without a word of explanation? I had no clue where you were, I was worried sick. If I did that, what would you think? Would you think that I was out fucking someone else, because that damn well crossed my mind."

"You wouldn’t do that. You’re mine-"

“ _No_.” I growled. “I am not yours. I don’t  _belong_  to anybody, I’m not a fucking possession.”

"Venice, for fuck’s sake, calm down."

"DON’T FUCKING TELL ME TO CALM DOWN. HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO TRUST YOU, SEBASTIAN?! Please, enlighten me on how the  _fuck_  I’m supposed to have an ounce of trust in you when you pull stunts like that?”

My voice had raised so much I was practically screaming in his face. I couldn’t read his face as it was constantly changing. Whether it was my words or his intoxicated state, I couldn’t tell.

"You don’t trust me?" His voice cracked. If I wasn’t so full of rage I would have immediately crumbled at the sight of his watery eyes and pouty lips.

I pushed past him and stormed into the living room. “Right now, I can’t tell.”

"Where are you going?" He followed me to the door.

I grabbed my jacket and bag from the floor, slinging them both over my shoulder before forcefully unbolting the front door and yanking it open.

I turned to face him. “Away from you.” I spat, slamming the door in his face.

I sighed shakily before mounting the stone steps and taking them two at a time. I took my phone from my bag and found Megan’s number in my contacts. She picked up after the third ring.

"Ben wouldn’t mind me crashing on your sofa, would he?"

 


	11. Chapter 11

”Is that him?” Megan asked, placing a steaming mug of coffee on the table by the couch. She nodded towards my phone which lay by my thighs, it had been buzzing relentlessly since I arrived with missed calls and texts. I hadn’t checked any of them but I knew they were from Sebastian. 

I sighed and picked up the phone. “Yeah.”

She bit her lip. “You’re still mad at him?”

"Of course I am. The worst part is, the last time we fought he was drunk and he  _knows_  how much it upsets me yet he chooses to do it again.”

"Does he have a drinking problem?"

"I don’t know. I think he just does it when he’s confused or upset."

"Sounds like a problem."

We were silent for a few moments. I kept glancing at my phone, waiting for the inevitable vibration, signalling a message from Sebastian. “Are you sure I’m not being unreasonable?”

"What, by ignoring him? I don’t know,"

"You don’t know, I thought you said-"

"Yeah, I know, I know, but… Don’t let me order you around. If you feel like you’re doing the wrong thing, then do what you think might be right."

"So you think I should talk to him?" I sighed shakily, eyeing my phone as it buzzed again with a text from him.

"If you think it would help." she said. Her jokey nature had completely disappeared and she watched me with a serious expression.

I chewed on my bottom lip, nervously. My heart ached as I pictured him sat at home, still slightly drunk and constantly running his long fingers through his hair, frantically texting and calling me every five seconds. 

"I’ll give you some privacy. There’s a spare duvet and pillow in the laundry room." she said, gesturing towards the door at the end of the narrow hallway. 

"Thanks, Megan."

"Anytime."

She left the room and softly shut her bedroom door closed. My head fell into my hands. I raked through my mind for something to say to him. I had yelled and snapped at him and made it very clear that I was more than pissed off at him. I was too stubborn to pick the phone up and apologize. 

My fingers hovered over the screen, I watched the lockscreen intently. The time read ‘12:47’ and the wallpaper was a picture of Sebastian and I in central park. I was at in his lap, holding the camera up and sticking my tongue out, his arms were wrapped around my waist, his face half buried in my hair, eyes closed and a huge, close-mouthed smile on his lips. It was my favourite picture of us, the lighting and scenery made it look like something from a poster in a designer store, it helped that Sebastian always dressed great, choosing a denim jacket, tee and skinny jeans that day. 

I took a deep breath and unlocked the phone, finding our conversation. Sebastian had texted me at least thirty times. 

_'Where are you?'_

_'Baby, please.'_

_'I need you.'_

_'You can't leave me.'_

_'I love you more than anything.'_

I was angry that he hadn’t apologized. He knew I hated when he was drunk. He knew I hated when anyone was drunk. I told him about my past and I trusted him with it. I trusted that he wouldn’t use it against me. Because that’s how I felt. I felt like he’d done it on purpose, to provoke a reaction out of me. It made me feel sick.

I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t talk to him over the phone. I shot up and grabbed my jacket and shoes then searched for something to leave a note for Megan with. I scribbled down where I was going then fled the flat. Thankfully, their flat building had a functioning elevator and I could save myself from the task of running down seven flights of stairs.

It didn’t take long to run - I say run, but it was more of a brisk, fast walk - back to our shared apartment. I took the steps two at a time and sprinted to our door, bursting through the door. 

Sebastian’s head snapped up from where he was hunched over on the sofa, staring at his phone. He stood up and gingerly walked a few steps towards me.

"You came back." He thought I wouldn’t. I couldn’t tell if it was doubt in me or the knowledge that he’d messed up. It was hard to read him most of the time.

"Yeah," I said, panting slightly from my short and rushed journey.

"I… I don’t know what to say."

"You could start by apologizing, then follow up with a detailed explanation. And another apology." I said whilst peeling off my jacket, slowly, and hanging it up along with my bag.

"I’m so sorry. For drinking, I… I shouldn’t have done that."

"No, you shouldn’t have. But you did. After what happened the other night and after everything I told you, I was certain that I’d never have to encounter that side of you again. I disclosed information with you that I’ve never told anyone else. I trusted you with a secret from my past that’s haunted me for years. I didn’t dwell on it before so I will now. He didn’t just drink, Sebastian, he got violent. He beat my mother and he hit me. He would lose his temper at the drop of a hat and he would throw bottles and books and anything in sight. It was  _terrifying_ , Sebastian. I cannot stress to you how terrified I was. Terrified of my  _own parent_. I was so young and I didn’t know how to defend myself. I care about you, so much. You’re the only person who has mattered to me in my whole life and you just pull shit like that? Do you even understand what you did?!”

"Venice, I am so sorry. I am so unbelievably sorry and I will do anything I can to make it up to you, I swear." His hands were clasped together as if he was literally begging for forgiveness.

"Then tell me why you left," I pressed, exasperated.

"I can’t." he choked out.

"Oh for fuck’s sake," I practically yelled, shoving him out of my way.

“ _Venice_ ,” his voice raised with mine.

"You can’t keep secrets like that from me, Sebastian. That’s not… that’s not how relationships work, you need to  _tell me_.”

"I can't."

"Yes, you _can_. And you will! Do you not trust me?"

"Of course I trust you, Venice, I can’t fucking tell you!"

"Why the fuck not?"

"Because… because it would put you in danger!"

"What are you fucking talking about?"

"I’d be putting you in danger if I told you where I was going, and I couldn’t live with myself if I was the cause of that."

"STOP LYING TO ME!"

He stormed towards me and picked me up, effortlessly pinning me against the wall. I struggled in his grasp, beating my fists on his chest. He pushed his torso against mine to keep me in place, raising his arms to restrain mine. 

"You have to believe me, Venice! It’s the truth."

"Danger? You’d be putting me in danger? What does that fucking mean, Sebastian. What the hell are you hiding from me?"

"Tell me, honestly, if I didn’t tell you why I left, would you leave me?"

I struggled to catch my breath with his chest pressed so forcefully against mine. His head rested against the wall, hot breath on my ear. “Honestly?”

I felt him nod.

"Yes, I would."

He sighed then let me go. I sunk to the floor and rubbed my wrists, he’d subconsciously squeezed too tight whilst trying to restrain me. I decided to not mention that, knowing it would crush him, the thought of hurting me even if it was such a small action.

"I’ll tell you, but you won’t believe me."

"Try me."

He crossed over to the sofa and sat down, signalling for me to do also. He ran his hands through his unruly hair before opening his mouth to speak.

"I lied to you. I didn’t grow up here. I was born in Romania and was raised there by my mother and father until I was fourteen and my mother was kidnapped by an organization that worked against the one my dad worked for. My dad always told me that he ran errands for a big company, that’s as vague as he put it, but after my mother went missing he had to tell me everything. He worked as an enforcer for several different drug manufacturers. He collected debts, threatened and even dealed sometimes. A rivalling kingpin got pissed off when he killed one of their guys, so he came after him. My dad was always good at keeping a low profile, but somehow this drug guy found out about us. He got some of his hitmen or whatever to take my mother and I away, you know, a way of blackmailing my dad into doing what they wanted. I was at school at the time when they did it, so they just got my mother. When my dad refused to do what they wanted they… they killed her. We had to flee." he took a deep breath, his voice cracking whilst talking of his mother’s death. "We came here and my dad bought the club as a cover business, to make it harder for them to track us. The manufacturers that he worked for managed to wipe them out but… there’s a guy left. My dad thinks he knows where we are. I’ve been helping him out. That’s where I was, my dad’s guy got a sighting on someone he thinks might be in on it and I needed to go to him right away."

My head was in a complete blur. I thought I had a troubled life but it was nothing compared to the fucked up lifestyle Sebastian suffered. I had grabbed his hand during his speech and I gave it a squeeze when he stopped talking. He looked up and we locked eye contact. His orbs were swirling with pain and threatened tears.

"I’ve been so paranoid. I don’t know, I know it’s just my dad over-reacting but we can’t be too careful. I just… I don’t know what they did to my mother but it wouldn’t be surprising to me if it was nothing short of disgusting. And I can’t let that happen to you. I would lose my mind if I lost you."

"You won’t lose me."

We stared into eachother’s eyes for a few moments before a loud knock on the door erupted and we both froze. Fear struck Sebastian and it was evident on his face. He got up slowly and approached the door, gesturing for me to stay put.

He swung the door open and revealed a plump old lady, wrapped in a paisley dressing gown.

"I heard shouting, are you two alright?" she asked, squinting her eyes at the bright light of our apartment. Her gaze found mine and she noticed the shock and fear on my face as I still tried to register all the information Sebastian had shared with me. She must have assumed the worst because she turned to him with a harsh frown.

"I’m so sorry, ma’am. We were just having a stupid argument over the… the laundry."

"Oh, OK. I remember when my husband and I would quarrel constantly. I was just coming to see what was going on, you were making an awful racket."

"Again, we’re very sorry. We’ll be quiet now."

"Alright then, goodnight!" she waved and Sebastian quietly shut the door after her, sighing as the lock clicked.

I walked over to him and began to massage his shoulders, slowly. “You’re just being over paranoid. You need to calm down.”

He turned around and placed his hands on my hips. “Yeah, I do.” he breathed.

I leaned up and placed a soft, tender kiss to his lips. It had been our first in almost two days and I hadn’t realized how much I’d been craving it. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him towards me, deepening the kiss. I tried to tug him towards the bedroom but he placed his hands on my shoulders, nudging me back a bit.

"Slow down, Venice, I’ve got a bitch of a headache."

I pressed a kiss to his cheek and giggled. “Your own fault.”

"I know, I’m sorry."

"It’s OK, just don’t do it again. I’m not saying don’t drink, just not like that."

"I probably should lay off the alcohol for a while anyway, so I’ll restrain myself. For you."

I pecked his lips again, smiling against them. “Thank you.”

He grinned and pressed our foreheads together. All that could be heard was the sound of our heavy breathing and the distant sounds of sirens and car honking from the streets below. I felt myself falling more and more in love with him.

I gestured with my finger for him to follow me into our bedroom. “Let’s go to bed,” I whispered.

 


	12. Chapter 12

"Sebastiaaaaan!" I yelled as loud as I could, shutting off the hot stream of water. " _SEBASTIAAAAAAN_!”

"What is it?!" he shouted back, voice slightly muffled from the walls between us.

"Can you pass me a towel, please?"

I heard his heavy footsteps gradually get louder until the bathroom door clicked open. I stuck my hand out and waved it around, waiting for the soft texture to touch my skin.

"Open up."

"No, give me the towel."

"Venice, open the door."

"I’m nakeeeeed." I whined, sounding like a child.

"I’ve seen you naked a hundred times before, now open the door." his voice had dropped a bit and was slightly huskier.

"Give me the fucking towel, Seb."

Suddenly, the small shower door that separated my lover and I was pried from my grasp. I squealed and before my arms could cover my naked body, Sebastian grabbed my wet hips and threw me over his shoulder. The droplets of water making a large stain on his white tshirt. I playfully pummeled his back.

"Let me go!" I shrieked.

He ran around the apartment, holding me in a fireman’s lift, screaming the song from Frozen at the top of his lungs.

"Those aren’t even the lyrics, you twat!"

"OK, OK." he laughed, placing me on the floor in front of him. I glared up at his face, which held a mischievous smirk.

"You look beautiful," he hummed.

I scowled, holding my hand out. “Give me the towel.”

He held the blue fabric high above his head, shaking his head with a smug smile. “Nuh-uh.”

“ _Give it to me_.”

He leaned forward until his lips brushed my ear. “Make me,” he whispered throatily before fleeing from the room with the towel.

I sighed, exasperated. I couldn’t control my giggles as I rolled my eyes at him through the wall. Even though he couldn’t see me, he could sense the expression I made with vexation because I heard him laugh, a hearty, boyish laugh from the other room. He could be so immature when he wanted to.

I followed the beautiful sound and found him sat in the armchair in our bedroom, phone in hand. He smiled as I walked in, not-so-subtly running his eyes up and down my exposed body. I picked up one of the many tshirts he left lying on the floor and hauled it over my head. Sebastian was well-built, and his top size was much larger than mine so the shirt fell mid-thigh, which saved me from having to find underwear to put on. I dried my hair before leaving Sebastian in the bedroom to make some coffee.

As I boiled the kettle and got out two mugs I felt a pair of arms snake around my middle. I smiled, contently, and leaned against his chest.

"Mmm," he nibbled at my ear. "What do you wanna do today?"

"I don’t mind," I said, shrugging and dumping the coffee in the mugs. "I think it’s too cold to go out."

"What are you talking about? It’s not cold." he said, dismissively, grabbing the coffee I made for him from my hands.

"Seb, baby, look outside. It’s snowing."

"Yeah, but…"

"I’m not leaving this house until I have to. Could you turn the heating up, as well."

"Maybe," he mused. "It depends on what you’ll do for me…"

"Ugh," I rolled my eyes as he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "I’ll do it myself, then."

He caught the hem of my t-shirt -  _his_  t-shirt - with his long fingers before I could leave to go do something about our chilly flat. He tugged my petite body into his large one and rubbed his nose affectionately against mine. He had to bend his head down to reach my shorter height.

"You never know, you could benefit from the cold, we could have a hot, steamy shower together-"

“ _Sebastian_ ,” I giggled, playfully scolding him and lightly hitting his shoulder for his constant need to make everything dirty. “I already showered, like, five minutes ago.”

He laughed, cradling me against him, lightly swaying. “OK, OK.” He kissed the top of my head. “I’m sorry, I’ll stop.”

I giggled again, my arms circling his waist. “I swear, you have the mind of a fifteen year old boy.”

"Heeey," he whined, poking me in the belly. I squealed and pushed him off me, making him throw his head back and laugh loudly.

I left Sebastian in the kitchen to finish the laundry load that I discarded last night. I separated the huge pile of dirty washing into lights and darks. I banned Sebastian from ever doing the laundry again after he shoved all of his underwear in the machine a long with the dress I wore to Megan’s engagement party. I was more than distraught when I unloaded it later to find that he’d turned my favourite white bodycon bright green. I changed the temperature and set the time before loading all of the clothes in. I chewed my lip before turning it on, remembering the state of our bedroom.

“ _Sebastian_! Can you fetch me all of the clothes you’ve left lying around, I’m putting a load in!”

"OK!" he yelled back.

After a few minutes he padded into the small room with armfuls of shirts and jeans. He smirked, deviously, before dumping the mound of dirty washing on top of my head.

"Oi!  _Asshole_ ,” I shoved his leg. “I hate youuuu.”

"You love me," he chuckled, ruffling my hair.

I stood up and lightly pushed him out of the way so I could leave the room.

"You’re finishing that load. And don’t put any colours or darks in!"

_______________________

I packed my stuff into the light blue duffel bag, slowly. Rehearsals had finished early because our singing coach wasn’t there and I was meeting Sebastian at an Italian restaurant to celebrate our four month anniversary at half eight so I was in no rush. I quickly changed out of my leggings and loose shirt into a more formal dress. It was black with a big velvet bow on the belt, and the skater skirt reached mid-thigh. Sebastian had picked it out, it turned out he had a very good taste, not just for men’s style but he knew a good dress when he saw one, and he knew my type. Most boyfriends would pick the tightest, most revealing number they could find, usually with a pricetag to make you squirm. This dress was modest yet really cute at the same time, it had long lacy sleeves and an adorable white collar so it covered most of my upper body, but the short skirt showed off my legs. The matching heels my boyfriend had also picked out helped with making my legs look skinny and long. Sebastian had a thing for heels.

"You look lovely," Sylvia said, making me jump. "Going somewhere fancy?" 

"Uhh, just to a restaurant." I replied, fiddling with the make-up on my dressing table before stuffing it in my bag along with my gym clothes. "It’s Seb and I’s anniversary."

"Aww, that’s so cute. Where’s he taking you?"

"This place called Patsy’s on 56th Street,"

"Oh yeah, I know that place. I’ve never been though, you’ll have to give me a review."

I laughed, halfheartedly. “I’ll make sure of it.”

"You OK?" she asked, cocking her head at me as if she was cooing at a puppy.

"Yeah, I’m fine."

"Venice," she pressed.

I sighed. “I don’t know.”

"What’s going on?" she took a seat next to me in Megan’s chair.

"Nothing. Everything’s fine, you know, with me and Sebastian. And everything. Nothing’s going on, I just…"

"Yeah, your life is perfect."

I huffed. “It is now. It wasn’t before.”

"Ah," she said. "The problem, I found it."

I chewed my lip. I couldn’t help but dwell on the past, constantly. Every so often my mother would call, saying she was checking up on me but it would always end up in us screaming at eachother before one of us angrily hung up the phone. The thing was, she had this habit of randomly pretending that nothing happened. It started a few years after Dad died, she decided that she was going to change and erase everything from her memory. She actually looked after me and paid attention to me but it only lasted a week before she went back to her shitty parenting. She always did it, every so often she would just pretend. She would pretend like Dad was never an alcoholic. She would pretend that he never hit us and yelled at us. She would pretend that she never gave a shit about me. She would pretend that she never left me in the hands of her misogynistic brother. She would just pretend and it made me so mad. I never thought my life would get better. I never believed in that; ‘it gets better’. It was bullshit.

But it wasn’t.

"I’ve just had a shitty life, before I came here. I won’t go into it but uh… it sucked and… And now it doesn’t. I never thought it would happen. I thought I would come here and I’d probably end up living on a street corner after trying to buy my way into Broadway. And when I first got here and my hotel room got ransacked and all my money was robbed I though ‘ _Shit, this is actually happening_.’ but then-“

"Sebastian saved you."

"Yeah," I laughed. "He did, he made everything better. Or maybe it’s the city."

Sylvia frowned at me, confused, at my last comment. I shook my head. “It’s uh.. it’s a private joke.”

______________________

"You looked so beautiful tonight." Sebastian sighed, rubbing his nose sweetly against my cheek.

"You didn’t look too bad yourself," I smirked, toying with the end of his black suit with my free hand.

Our hands were interlocked as we strolled through Central Park. It was late, about half ten and quieter than usual as it was a Tuesday. The stars twinkled above us, a feature of the universe I could never grow tired of. I stared up at the sky, mesmerized at the scatter of shining dots amongst the vast black. It was rare when you could look up and see so many stars in the New York sky, but the Christmassy weather made this possible, and it was beautiful. I hugged Sebastian’s overcoat tighter around me as the snow fell heavier.

"You know, I think this was the exact spot where I told you that I loved you for the first time."

I looked up at my wonderful boyfriend. Even in the dark I could see his glimmering blue eyes, watching me with a content smile. “Yeah it was. I remember that, and I still feel awful about it.”

He shook his head and held up my arm, twirling me around. I giggled and my skirt fanned out around me as I spun. I stumbled into him, my hands flying up and hitting his chest to stop me from collapsing on top of him.

"Don’t," he said. "If I could relive it, I would. I would’ve waited. Or… I don’t know what I would have done but… It doesn’t matter what happened or how it happened because it did and I still do. I still love you."

"Guess what?" I said, my chin lightly resting on his chest. His hands fell to the small of my back as I leaned against him, my back arching slightly.

"What?" he inquired, coyly.

"I still love you, too."

He gasped, his eyes widening in mock surprise. “No way,”

I giggled, innocently. “It’s true.”

"Good," he breathed, pressing his full lips against my forehead, then my cheek, then my nose and then my mouth. I laughed, breathlessly, as he peppered wet kisses all over my face. "Good, because I love you more than anything, and I’d rather not have those feelings be unrequited."

"More than anything?"

"More than  _anything_.” he used an exaggerated expression to emphasize the last word.

I pulled a skeptical face. “I mean, there are so many amazing things in this world.” I began, turning around and looking from left to right to make my jokey reply more dramatic. My hand remained locked inside Sebastian’s. “Like chocolate and Netflix… and One Direction!”

He gasped, “Oh no you didn’t…”

"I mean, I don’t know if I could ever love anything more than Harry Styles."

Sebastian’s lips jutted out as he mastered the puppy dog eyes. He faked some overly-histrionic tears. He raised his fingers and wiped at his dry eyes.

"Bravo, bravo, where’s your Academy Award?" I joked, tugging him towards me again. I wound my arms around his neck.

"I love you so much," I whispered. "More than anything."

"More than anything?" he mocked my previous words.

"More than  _anything_.”

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there are a lot of spelling mistakes i just realized. sorry

I huffed, loudly. My head lolled to the side to see Sebastian fast asleep, his mouth hanging open with short and barely audible snores leaving it. I rolled my eyes, extremely jealous that he managed to be getting sleep in this ridiculous and biting cold. I rolled around on the bed, trying to entangle myself in the sheets. Sebastian was giving off very little body heat and whenever I snuggled myself against him I would find myself in a very uncomfortable and awkward position that I could never fall asleep in. I made a frustrated noise and jerked over to my front, hitting Sebastian’s side with my knee, hard, in the process. 

"Unngh," he whined as he stirred. "W-what are you doing?"

"I can’t sleep," I said, jutting my bottom lip out.

Through drooping eyes he gazed up to where I was resting my chin on his chest. “Oh yeah? So you decided to attack me.”

"It was an accident."

He bared a lopsided grin. “It’s OK, baby,” he whispered, sleepily. He wrapped his arms around my bare middle and pulled me up so I was lying on top of him. “I forgive you.”

I scrunched up my nose as he planted a wet kiss on the end of it. “What time is it?” I asked.

He reached over to the small bedside cabinet on our left and picked up his phone. “3:20.”

"Ugh," I buried my face in his chest. "What’s wrong with meeee…"

"Hey," he caught my chin and lifted my head so I was looking straight into his bright blue eyes, which were twinkling mischievously. "I know what we can do."

"Oh God…" I said, making a worried face. "What are you gonna do to me."

He gently pushed me off him and swung his legs over the side of the bed. I playfully smacked his bare bum when he stood to which I got a ‘Heeey,’. He pulled a pair of pajama bottoms up his long legs and then threw one of his many Guns N’ Roses shirts and a pair of his cargo shorts at me.

"Get changed, I’m gonna show you something."

"Should I be worried?"

He flashed me a wide grin. I changed into his clothes as fast as I could then slipped on my own converse over some black socks. Wherever he was taking me, I hoped it was indoors because I would freeze to death. He made a ‘come here’ motion with his finger when I entered the kitchen. I grabbed one of his hoodies that was slung on the back of a dining chair before following him out the front door.

"Where are we going?"

"Now that would spoil the surprise."

He took my hand in his then led me up the stairs. We sprinted up flight after flight of stairs, taking the steps two at a time. Once we reached the tenth and top floor I was struggling to control my panting. Sebastian laughed at me, his strong build and habit of visiting the gym twice a week whilst I rehearsed for work made it easier for him to run up eight staircases without getting too out of breath and sweaty.

"Stop it," I pouted, poking his chest.

He flicked his head ahead of us. “Come on,”

He led me to the large double door at the end of the short and narrow hallway. A sign was screwed onto the black wood and it read ‘STAFF ONLY’ in big red letters.

"The roof? But, aren’t we not allowed to go up here?" I wanted to hit myself after saying that. The ‘Staff Only’ sign did kind of give it away.

Sebastian withdrew a small nail from his pocket and picked the lock on the door. “Tenants are welcome to use any of our facilities however, they are not permitted to enter any storage cupboard or the rooftop or will face fine or eviction.” he recited. I didn’t read any of the notices on the huge board in reception, but I knew he probably had that one down word for word. It wouldn’t surprise me if he faced hell from our landlord for breaking a few rules.

"Wait, did you make that sign?"

"Oh yeah, because that would definitely keep me from getting the boot. No, it’s out of bounds up here, but do you really think that’s gonna stop me?"

He put an arm round my waist and carefully helped me up the small metal ladder. Sebastian hoisted me over the small ledge and my shoes hit the gravelly floor of the roof. The wind was calm, but it was very chilly. The bitter air nipped at my bare legs. I tugged up the zip of Sebastian’s large hoodie and shook the sleeves so the cuffs covered my hands.

"Wow," I breathed, my head tipped back as I gazed at the sky. The stars were scattered across the huge black canvas, sparkling like sequins on a classic little black dress.

"I knew you’d like it." his arms circled my waist, his chest pressed against my back. "You always stare at the stars when we go to the park or whatever. You always look so mesmerized. Adorable." He pressed his lips to my temple.

I watched as he sat down on the rough floor, his back leaning against the brick ledge we climbed over. He beckoned for me to come sit on his lap, which I did. His arms wrapped protectively around my middle again and he rested his head in the curve of my neck.

"So, your obsession with the stars…"

"I don’t know where it came from, just something I’ve always liked. I find it… strangely fascinating. Those things are so far away and yet we can see them? And some of them don’t even exist anymore, it’s just… I don’t know why, I just find it quite spectacular."

"You should be an astrologer."

I giggled. “I think you mean  _astronomer_.”

"What’s the difference?"

"There’s a big difference, Seb."

"Whatever. Stick to the singing then."

I laughed again. “I will.”

There was something about being in Sebastian’s arms, watching the beautiful sky and the nightlife of New York City from such a height that filled me with a huge sense of contentment. It brought me so much peace, and for once my mind was at ease.

_____________________

I loved Brooklyn because it was quieter. Manhattan gave me such a buzz, and I loved being able to look around and see so many smiling faces, but every once in a while it would get a bit too overwhelming and I had to break from it. Sebastian had to visit a relative then run some errands so I took this opportunity to have a stroll. I immediately grabbed a coffee from a Starbucks before heading the the bookstore I’d visited with Megan so many times before.

It was practically empty, as usual, with just one woman and her daughter roaming the Children’s section at the back. The door chimed as I entered and I fixed the strap of my bag on my shoulder.

I wasn’t looking for anything in particular, I never did. I liked to think that I had a very varied taste in novels, I could never read two books in a row of the same genre unless they were in a series - a strange habit of mine.

A lot of the books were second-hand, donated by citizens who’d grown bored of the stories and wanted to make some cash. Some of the books were tattered and dog-eared or with very old artwork on the cover. A few versions of classics like Animal Farm by George Orwell and Lord of the Flies by William Golding had labelled sticky notes sticking out of random pages and miniscule notes written in the margins, obviously handed in by college or high school students who’d just finished studying the text. I picked up Animal Farm, remembering when I studied it when I was fourteen. I hated it because I’d always found politics mind-numbingly boring and I never listened when History teachers would bend your ear about fascist dictators and revolutions during the early 20th century. I also thought the fantasy farm of talking animals that was supposed to parallel the Russian Revolution incredibly stupid. With a laugh, I placed the novel back on the shelf.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, Sebastian’s name on my screen. I smiled and unlocked the message.

_'Just got home with Chinese take-out and those cupcakes we like from Ellie's. Come home before it gets cold. Xxx'  
_

I shoved the phone in my shoulder bag and left the tiny store, thanking the woman at the counter before I swung open the door, even though I didn’t buy anything.

______________________

"Why didn’t we get this later so we could have it for dinner?" I asked, slipping onto a breakfast stool.

"I would’ve," he said, dumping some egg fried rice onto a plate. "But this place was on the opposite side of town and Ted said it was too good to pass up."

"It better be, because I was having fun before you interrupted."

"Oh really?" he raised his eyebrows, popping his finger in his mouth to lick off some sweet and sour sauce. "What were you doing?"

"I was just looking around some shops." I dug into my sweet and sour chicken and egg fried rice. I was really boring and picky when it came to oriental food, but I love egg fried rice more than anything so I always ate two portions. "There’s this really cute book shop in Brooklyn, it reminds me of something from a movie. I love it."

"You get anything?"

"Nah, I didn’t see anything."

"Maybe we could go look together, see if they have a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey."

I covered my mouth with my hand to stop myself from spluttering rice everywhere as I laughed. I shook my head at his cheek.

"Have you read it?"

“ _No_ , I haven’t.” I looked at him quizzically for a moment. “Why, have you?”

He shifted on his feet, a forkful of noodles in his hand. “Maybe.”

“ _Sebastian_ ,” I gasped. “You dirty, dirty boy.”

"Oh come on, like you’ve never been interested. I just wanted to know if it was as bad as everyone says it is."

"Yeah, yeah. Of course."

He grinned at me. “I love you.”

"I love you more."

"Ah, no you don’t." he said, stealing a piece of my chicken.

"Hey! That was mean, and  _yes_  I do.”

"Venice, just give in. You will never win this argument."

I rolled my eyes at him. “Whatever, but I know the truth.”

"Of course you do."

We finished our lunch with occasional banter before retiring to the couch. We lay there, Sebastian’s large body engulfing me from behind, his arms wrapped around my waist.

"What else did you do today?" he asked me, dotting kisses up and down my neck.

"That was it, really. I just went for a walk around."

"Did you miss me?"

"Not much,"

"Heeeey,"

I chuckled, tightening my grip on his hand for a second. “What did you get up to today?”

For a split second I swore I felt him stiffen behind me.

"Uhhh, I just went to visit my god-brother. We’re not very close, used to go to school together." he stammered on his words.

"Oh, right."

"Yeah, he’s not very well."

"Oh, what’s wrong with him?"

"I think it’s probably just a really bad cold, so I didn’t stay for long, didn’t wanna catch anything."

"I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s a cold, it’s so bloody cold."

He buried his face in my hair, breathing deep. “I’m so scared, Venice.”

I rolled around his his hold so that I was facing him, my eyes full of concern as I searched his face. “Why?”

"I don’t know… I’m just really scared."

"About what?"

"About… about the future. About my dad. About losing you."

"You’re not losing me. You won’t ever lose me, Sebastian. Get that thought out of your head."

"I can’t help it." he choked out. His voice was so small, if we’d been any far apart I probably wouldn’t have heard it. He looked so lost, like a small child. I just wanted to hold him, kiss him and tell him it was all going to be OK. In reality, that never worked. "I can’t help it. I’m just so paranoid. I’m always scared that you’re gonna get snatched away. Or- or I’ll do something stupid and you’ll leave me again. I don’t want to hurt you. I’d hate myself forever if I hurt you."

I pressed my forehead against his. His shallow breathing fanned my face. “Sebastian, you need to lose this… this anxiety of me leaving. I  _won’t_. Unless you are cheating on me or you turn out to be a psychotic serial killer, I won’t ever walk out on you.”

"Promise?"

"I promise, Sebastian." I whispered, my eyes fluttered closed. "Cross my heart and hope to die."

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

My eyes were still closed, our foreheads pressed together. My hands rested on either side of his face, his slight stubble scratching my palms, whilst his held my hips. The thump, thump, thump of his racing heart was even audible, I placed a hand over his chest, where it rose and fell beneath my skin as he breathed heavily.

"You have no idea… the effect you have on me. I…" he could hardly get his words out, his voice was low and laced with gasps and sharp breaths.

"I’m so in love with you," he whispered. He pressed his lips against the corner of my mouth, then my nose, then the center of my forehead. "So in love."

I finally opened my eyes, meeting his, that were so brilliantly blue, so wide and frosty in the dim light of the afternoon. His lips parted when our eyes met, his pink, plump lips that were just begging to be kissed.

I tilted my head to the left slightly and pushed our mouths together. His hands lifted and weaved into my hair, holding my head against his. We kissed for what felt like hours, fitting together like jigsaw pieces as we savoured eachother.

"We need to go to work." I mumbled once Sebastian’s mouth left mine and attacked my neck, peppering wet, desperate kisses all over the exposed skin.

"Work can wait," he said, his hot breath tickling the skin below my jaw.

"No, I’m afraid it can’t."

He groaned. “Can we call in sick or something? Just stay here?”

"What, both of us sick? Yeah, I can totally see that sounding completely unsuspicious." I joked, pushing him off the couch. He held out a hand and helped me off the furniture.

"As much as I’d love to stay on the couch and make out with you all night, I have to go sing and you have to go make drinks so we can actually  _afford_  to make out on the couch.”

He smirked. “OK, you convinced me.”

"Let me get my stuff."

______________________

"This is gonna sound crazy…"

"Try me," Sylvia slurped a chocolate milkshake through a thick straw, watching me over the rim of the glass. Her, Megan and I were sat in a Grease-style diner. It was opposite Megan’s building and had just opened so we decided to give it a try. Sebastian told me he needed to visit a friend but I knew he was lying. I knew he was visiting his dad more often, and he told me it was just through paranoia but I was convinced that it was something more than that. I’d invited Lucy but she said she was too tired. Something about her harsh tone and the way she barely ever spoke to me provoked my suspicions.

"Does Lucy hate me?"

Their uncomfortable silence and shifty eyes gave me all the confirmation I needed.

"Great. I don’t even know what I did." I leaned back on my booth. I hated the thought of someone hating me.

"You didn’t do anything wrong, sweetie, Lucy is just a… she just doesn’t have a good judge of character. You know, I think she’s just-"

"Oh, come on, Sylv. You can’t be serious."

"Megan…"

"I mean," Megan started, crossing her arms over the table. "It’s obvious that there is some sort of jealousy involved in this."

Sylvia interrupted her again. “Megan, what are you talking about?”

"Don’t lie to the poor girl. We both know that Lucy has been in love with Sebastian since the day she started working at Stan’s. Her own fault, to be honest, she should’ve jumped in when she had the chance."

"She’s not Seb’s type, so he never looked twice at her." Sylvia said, matter-of-factually whilst popping a cheese covered nacho in her mouth. I watched their conversation like a tennis match.

"Wait," I said. "Sebastian has a type?"

"Oh, yeah. He has a  _definite_  type.” Megan said, with a smirk.

"Well… what is it?"

Sylvia laughed at me like I said something stupid. “It’s  _you_ , you idiot!”

"Yeah, but, what’s  _me_?”

Megan rolled her eyes. “OK, from what I’ve seen he definitely prefers brunettes over blonds, and he never dates a girl who isn’t short than by at least two or three inches than him because he’s insecure about his height. And he has a weird thing about fashion so he only dates girls who are stylishly aware.” she took a breath. “Basically, his type is anyone who is an exact replica of you.”

"Has he dated a lot before me."

"No. I could name, like, one girl but they broke up after about two weeks. They were similar to you, in looks, so it’s obvious he has a type. I guess none of their personalities matched up." Sylvia said.

"Oh."

"Don’t worry about Lucy, she’s always been a cold-hearted bitch deep down."

"I just really don’t like the idea of someone hating me, you know? Especially if it’s for a reason that I can’t help."

"She doesn’t hate you, I don’t think," Sylvia said, leaning over and placing a hand over mine. She had a need to be the voice of reason a lot of the time. "She just… envies you that’s all. She’s used to getting what she wants, and she didn’t this time. She’s pathetic, she only wanted him because he’s hot. Just ignore her, and if she ever says anything bitchy, tell us and we’ll sort her out. I’ve known her for a long time, I know her weaknesses."

_______________________

Sebastian answered the phone on the third ring.

"Hey baby, what’s up?"

I sighed, my feet keeping a slow pace as I walked through the busy, lamppost-lit streets. “Nothing, just wondering when you were coming home.”

"I don’t know exactly, I’m at a bar with some friends."

He was lying, there was no background noise and his voice was echoing like he was stood in a huge hall.

"Oh, OK." I tried to not sound upset. The fact that he’d been lying to me so much lately made me feel like shit. It made me feel stupid and foolish, like all the promises and trust I gave him were just a big joke. I wanted to yell at him, but I had another plan. "Well, I’ll see you at home then."

"Yeah, you will. I’ll be as quick as I can, promise. I love you."

"Love you too, bye."

I spun on my heel and headed straight back to the bar. The front door was bolted but because I was an employee I knew the code to the back. The street was quiet and nobody saw me slip into the dark alleyway and sneak into the club through the back door. The place was empty and pitch black. I flicked the switch and the club lit up like a Christmas tree, every table and glass had been scrubbed clean before lock-up and the artificial light bounced off each surface.

I made a bee-line for the basement door. I knew his father had an office, but whether I would find what I was looking for was another question. There were five stone steps leading down to a cellar and a switch that powered a lightbulb hanging on a thin wire provided me with light. There was a small desk in the corner, papers and files scattered across it, a long with three filing cabinets lined up across the opposite wall. The rest of the basement acted as a wine cellar, rows and rows of racks brimming with bottles and barrels of alcohol filled the room.

I scanned the desktop with my eyes but most of the papers seemed to be related to the club. Bills and notices and forms waiting to be filled out. The filing cabinet was my only hope. I sighed in relief when I discovered that none of them were locked. I opened and shut each drawer, aggressively, but they were all empty except for unlabelled brown file dividers. Thankfully, the last draw was occupied. Maybe my trip hadn’t been a waste.

I flicked through the papers and noticed that they were all family related, no business files, faxes or prints at all. Sebastian’s birth certificate, school reports, health cards, even certificates and awards from spelling bees and swimming competitions that he’d competed in. There were various photos of him when he was little, gap-toothed and baby faced. I held up a picture of an eight-year-old Sebastian, sat in front of a huge Superman cake with a huge grin on his small, chubby face. I couldn’t help but smile.

My fingers glided through the rest of the files but stopped short once I saw the flash of a panicked headline. My hands hovered over the newspaper article before I picked it out.

**"BODY OF ROMANIAN WOMAN, 41, FOUND IN RIVER."**

I sucked in a breath, it was his mother. My eyes scanned over the paper and I skim-read the horrific details of his mother’s murder. I stopped suddenly when I saw the word ‘rape’ and I shoved the paper back in the drawer before slamming it shut. I tasted bile, the burger I ate at the diner threatening to make an appearance. I wondered if Sebastian knew. He didn’t seem  _that_  affected by it when he talked of his mother’s death. He knew she’d been murdered, but he had no idea of the disgusting details of the crime.

I picked myself up from where I was crouching on the floor to reach the bottom drawers. There was little reception down here. I punched in Sylvia’s number and waited for her to answer.

"What’s up, Venice?"

"Hey, Sylvia, I need some honest advice."

Her tone turned serious. “OK?”

"Sebastian’s been lying to me. He’s been lying to me for some time. I know there’s something going on, something really serious. To do with his past. Even if I knew anything about it, I couldn’t tell you. I don’t know if it could put me, or him, in danger but it probably would. It probably  _has_. But the thing is, I don’t know if I can do it. The  _lies_. I don’t know if I can cope with that. Relationships are all about trust, right? How can I trust him if he lies to me constantly. I just… I don’t know what to do. I need help, I don’t know what to do.” I was practically sobbing.

"Right, Venice, just calm down. Breathe, OK? It’s gonna be fine. Whatever’s going on, and I won’t ask, is no excuse for him to lie to you. You two have been through a lot and I can see that you are totally smitten with eachother so he has no excuse. And if it were me, I’d be fuming."

"So what do I  _do_?”

"You need to talk to him, Venice."

"About what? What do I say? He won’t tell me, Sylvia. He never tells me. I’ve tried. He’ll probably be angry at me if I asked. Or… or he’d drink again!" I hiccuped through my tears.

"If he won’t tell you, then use that as your decider. Do you really want to base a relationship on lies, Venice? Do you  _really_  trust him?”

It took me a while to answer. “I don’t know.”

"Then go. Go find out."

I shot out of the club, making sure to bolt the door as I left then I took to the streets. It didn’t take long for me to reach the building, even with my short legs. There was someone in the flat when I burst through the door.

But it wasn’t Sebastian.

 


	15. Chapter 15

”Well  _hello_ , beautiful.” A hooded man was perched on the corner of our dining table. Sunglasses and a baseball cap under the hood of his black jacket masked his identity. “We thought you’d never show.”

My heart was racing uncontrollably. “Wh-who are you?” I choked out after a moment of staring at him in pure terror. I suddenly became aware of the presence behind me.

"You don’t wanna know, sweetheart. But you’re gonna come with me and my boys here." he said, malice laced his tone.

My head whipped around to see three more hooded men stood in a row behind me, their huge arms were crossed across their muscled chests. They were all massive and could easily kill me with one blow.

It took a lot for me to suppress my fear. “Where is he?”

"Who? Your boyfriend? Now, I don’t know why you worry about that boy, he’s nothing but trouble." the man slowly walked towards me until we were a foot apart. He gripped my chin and tilted it up so we were looking into eachother’s eyes. Now there was no way I could mask my terror. "A pretty thing like you should have a man who can take care of her, keep her away from danger."

"Please don’t touch me."

A husky chuckle vibrated in his chest. “Do as I say and come with us.”

"No."

I could see him frown behind his sunglasses. He grabbed my arms and squeezed, hard. “I will do more than touch you if you don’t do what you’re told.”

I opened my mouth to scream for Sebastian but the chance was ripped from me as hands grabbed my arms from behind me and a damp cloth was shoved in my face, smothering my cry for help. The sweet-smelling liquid took seconds to take effect as my limbs went limp and the world around me faded to black.

_________________________

I woke up in complete darkness with a pounding headache, like a hangover but worse. I thought my eyes would adjust and I’d be able to see, but it didn’t. The room or shed or corridor or whatever I was in was pitch black. After a few minutes I could make out shapes and outlines, the hopeful sign of a light switch was found opposite me, a few feet above, but I couldn’t reach it due to the harsh fingers wrapped around my wrists, keeping my arms restrained

My mouth was taped over and I couldn’t scream. Not that I would, I didn’t want to alert whoever had brought me here that I was awake.

Then it all came to me. The hooded men, the chloroform, the files. I’d been  _kidnapped_. It was a nightmare, a horrid dream that I needed to wake up from. I knew I wasn’t sleeping and it wasn’t all in my head, it was real. The fear that pounded in my heart and covered my body in goosebumps was one hundred percent real.

I thrashed in my restraint to try and find a hint of what I was locked to. It had to be some sort of shelving unit, and the way the cool pole felt against my skin obviously meant that it was metal.

I needed light. The shelves were metal and poled so they couldn’t be built into a wall or anything, and the way it rattled when I wrestled in the rope I was tied up in meant that it had to be on wheels. I moved my leg around and searched with my foot for them, I kicked at the wheels until I heard a click and the thing started to move.

Sighing in relief, I shuffled forward on the floor before kicking my right leg up onto the wall. With struggle, I managed to use the tip of my foot to flick the switch. The dark room pooled with artificial light. What I saw when my eyes finally accustomed themselves to the gleam made my heart skip a bit. Not in the way that Sebastian did when he smiled or made a joke, but in a terrified,  _oh fuck_  kind of way.

The walls were covered, bottom to top, with newspaper clippings, tickets, documents and photos stuck to the wall with Blu-tak or drawing pins. When I looked closer I realized that the photos were of me. Getting out of a cab, leaving the building, leaving the club, with Megan and Sylvia in Central Park. I thought I was gonna be sick.

Whoever had put me here had planned it all, for weeks and weeks. It was obvious that it was because of Sebastian’s father. The drug dealers that were angry at him for fleeing, the ones who’d killed Sebastian’s poor mother. They’d found them.

And they were using me as bait to get to Sebastian.

I dragged the shelves with me until I was sat with my head level with the door handle. I squinted my eyes to look through the keyhole. I could only see straight ahead, the small gap blocking my peripheral vision.

I expected to see the hooded men again but they weren’t there. There were just two men in neatly tailored suits leaning against a small desk in the middle of a huge, white hall. It resembled a school gym, but the walls and floor were white and completely blank, no climbing frames or cricket nets. Then I noticed the third presence; it was Robert, Sebastian’s father.

I strained my ears to hear their conversation.

"Where the fuck is my son?" Robert spat.

One of the men in the suits laughed. “Well I can tell where he gets his impatience from. He’s grown up to be quite the handsome man, hasn’t he?”

"That wasn’t the answer to my question."

"Mr. Stan, you’re not here so we can answer your questions. We’re here so you can accept our proposition. You left quite a burn on our business, Robert, with that stunt you pulled. I didn’t take it well. So you’re going to come back to Europe with us and pick up where you left off. You’re son will join you, to make up for the men you killed."

"No."

"Now, now, Robert, are you sure that’s the road you want to take? Remember what happened the last time you were defiant?"

Robert’s jaw tightened. I could tell he was using everything in him to not burst in rage. “You’re disgusting.”

"It would be a huge shame if anything happened to Venice Richards, wouldn’t it?"

My heart was pounding so hard I thought it would burst through my ribs.

"What are you…"

"We have her. I don’t think I can make myself clearer with that if you don’t follow my orders, I will kill her."

My mouth was dryer than a desert, I couldn’t breathe and tears were blurring my eyes. I choked out sobs as Robert and the drug man started shouting at eachother. I was so distraught, more scared than I had ever been in my whole life. But I was also so angry. I feel like a toy, being used to torment another person. I was just being used to force a man into doing something. It felt worse than being kidnapped alone, but now I knew the reason I felt bile creeping up my throat.

I pressed my forehead against the cold frame of the keyhole again just in time to see the unidentified man put a bullet between Robert Stan’s eyebrows. I emptied my stomach onto the dusty floor.

___________________________

I was shaking uncontrollably. It was too much. It wasn’t happening,  _it wasn’t happening._  The blood, the terror in his eyes when the bullet hit his skull. It was too much. I threw up again, the puke spraying my bare legs and converse. I wanted Sebastian. I wanted his arms around me, his soft hair tickling my neck as he whispered in his deep voice about how it was all alright and nothing bad would happened to me. Now I had no shred of hope that Sebastian would be capable of keeping me safe. There was only one thing on my mind now; I had to get out of here. I had to get out of here  _now_.

I craned my neck to see what was on the shelves. It had to be some kind storage cupboard; the metal grilled levels full of tools and Tupperware containers packed with nails, screws and spanners. My eyes lit up when I saw a box of lighters on the shelf my head was level with. I strained my neck as far as I could then butted the clear box off the shelf. It landed on the floor with a thud. I used my legs to shuffle the box across the floor until it rested beneath my tied-up hands. With difficulty, I fiddled with the plastic lid until it popped open, then I grabbed a small lighter and balanced it on the floor. I flicked the spark wheel with the nail of my thumb and the flame appeared.

Slowly, I lowed my hands over the flame, rope first. The fibres made a hissing sound when they touched the fire, the heat nipping at my skin. I gritted my teeth together, tears stinging my eyes as sparks caught the skin on my wrist. Once the rope had burned enough I ripped my arms apart, the charred restraint tearing apart. I rubbed my wrists which were now red from the friction against the rope.

Whoever decided to keep me locked in a storage cupboard filled with tools that could help me escape was obviously not the brightest of them all. I guess drugs do that to you.

I stood up, my stiff, wobbly legs making it difficult. I desperately searched my brain, trying to figure out my next move. An idea clicked in my head but it seemed far-fetched and completely hopeless. However, I couldn’t think of anything else and I was beyond desperate at this point.

I couldn’t stop think of Robert’s brains sprayed across the floor as I locked the metal shelves to the floor. I grabbed a glass from one of the shelves and pressed it against the wall. My thoughts were confirmed; the other side of this wall was the streets.

I grabbed the sides of the shelves and placed my feet on the first shelf. Hesitantly, I climbed up the metal shelves, lighter in hand, until I was sat at the top. I had to hang my head to fit. I turned on the lighter and held it against the curve of the padlock that locked the trapdoor. I never listened in my lessons at school so I had no idea whether this metal would melt, and it wouldn’t surprise me if it didn’t. After what felt like a lifetime of waiting with bated breath, the metal finally snapped. I ripped it from the latch and threw it on the floor then I pushed up the door. It wasn’t hinged so I had to lift it with both hands and shoved out of the way.

I placed my hands on either side of the inside of the door and heaved myself inside. I almost cried in relief when I saw a grill at the end of the tiny corridor, the sunlight from outside shooting through the gaps. I clambered out of the hole and picked up a screwdriver before climbing back in again and gingerly crawling towards my escape. With shaking hands, I unscrewed all of the small bolts that kept my hopeful exit restrained. Once they were all gone I shoved the thick plastic out of the way. The cool air hit my face and it was heavenly, but I didn’t have time to savor it. I had to get the fuck out of this place.

I bent and poked my head out. The drop was a few metres but I could take some bruises and scrapes if it meant escaping from these psychos. I swung my legs out and took the jump without any preparation. I bent my legs as I hit the ground, I stumbled a little but my hands caught me.

Then I ran. I ran and ran and ran, not caring about the pedestrians that whipped their heads, giving my strange looks as I rushed through the crowds. It didn’t take me long to figure out where I was and when it clicked, my feet pounded against the pavement, making a beeline for the apartment.

_____________________

It was stupid. Hopeless and useless. Of course he wouldn’t be home, he’d be with them. His dad was killed. He wouldn’t be at home. They had him. He was going with them to Europe and he was gonna work for them. Or they were gonna kill him. They killed him.

Tears swam in my eyes as I unlocked the door. At least the men hadn’t rooted through my pockets when they kidnapped me and taken my keys, the thought of them touching me disgusted me without thinking of them putting their hands down my back pockets.

The door swung open and my heart stopped at the sight of a lean man, hunched over on the breakfast stool, his head in his hands.

"Sebastian," I barely whispered.

His head snapped up. His eyes were red and puffy but not from alcohol, from tears. “V-Venice.”

I didn’t hesitate to leap into his arms. I wrapped them around his neck and shoved my fingers into his hair, gripping the back of his head.

"It’s OK. You’re OK." he whispered, over and over, quietly into my ear. "You’re safe. You’re safe now."

A twisted feeling in the pit of my stomach refused to believe him.

 


	16. Chapter 16

His arms were wrapped around me so tight I felt like I was suffocating. I tried to subtly struggle out of his grip but he didn’t budge.

"Sebastian…"

He finally let go of me. “I know, I know. They’re not coming back for you, they’re gone. The place they kept you in was the second floor of this office building. The gunshot that… that killed my father alerted someone in the building and they called the police. I managed to escape without questioning because they know, they know everything. It’s over, baby. It’s all over.”

He pulled me in for another embrace, kissing the top of my head. “We don’t have to worry anymore.”

Once he let go again, he crossed over to the kitchen, flicking the switch of the gas kettle with his index finger. “Sit down, Venice, I’ll make you some coffee. I can’t even begin to imagine how you feel right now.”

I watched intently as he ran his hand through his messy hair and slammed it on the counter. “ _Fuck_ ,”

I padded over to him and placed a cautious hand on his back. He spun around, tears in his eyes.

"Oh God," he croaked. "I am so, so sorry. I… I can’t believe I did this to you. D-did they hurt you?"

"No." I whispered. 

His eyes must have caught the sight of the burns on my wrists because he grabbed my forearms and held them up, the pads of his fingers gently caressing the red marks. 

"That was me. I escaped." I assured him. 

His mouth hung open, taking his time to stare at my arms. “How?”

"Honestly… I still don’t know how I managed it."

"I’m so sorry."

I looked down at the floor, guilt flooding through me. I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t stay with him any longer and I hated myself for that. When he leaned in to kiss me, I turned so his lips landed on my cheek. His eyebrows were furrowed in confusion when I looked back at him.

"I…" he began, but stopped, obviously not knowing what to say.

I took a few steps backwards. “Sebastian, I… don’t know if I can do this anymore.”

"Do what?"

I couldn’t bring myself to meet his eyes. “I don’t know what to say, I… Honestly, I’m still trying to take everything in. I feel like I’m in a fucking movie, or an episode of Breaking Bad. It’s just… too much. That’s it. And I…”

"What are you trying to say, Venice?" 

"Sebastian, I’m sorry." I turned around to leave but he grabbed my arm.

"No, no. Where are you going? What… what are you saying?"

"I can’t do it! You honestly can’t expect me to just come home and jump back into our normal routine after  _that_. Three months ago you told me that it was just your paranoia and we would be fine. I was fucking  _kidnapped_ , Sebastian. I’m still trying to come to terms with that fact, and what would’ve happened to me if I hadn’t gotten out of there. I’m sorry, this is so hard for me but I’ve made the decision. I can’t be with you any longer, not after this. I- I just can’t.”

I’d turned around and my hand was on the door latch before he spoke, his words choked. “You made a promise.”

I turned around, cautiously. He was crying now, a stream of tears staining his stubble covered cheeks. “You promised me that you would never leave me.”

"You’ve made many promises then gone ahead and broken them, so I think it’s fair to say that I’m entitled to break at least one of mine."

I opened the door and left. If I’d shut it any sooner I would’ve missed the croaky, desperate “I love you” that was whispered at my exit.

I stumbled down the steps and into the busy street. My body heaved, I could feel the inevitable break down coming. I walked a few yards until I collapsed at the side of the pavement, sobs trembling my body. My head fell into my hands and I cried and cried and cried.

____________________________

_**THREE YEARS LATER** _

The crowds deafening cheers echoed in my ears as the curtain hit the floor, pooling in a red heap. I released my arms from where they were raised above my head, interlocked with my cast mates. 

"Good show, Venice," a girl, Jodie her name was, tapped me on the shoulder and grinned.

"Thank you." I said.

It was the final night of the show and I was quite upset. It had been so much fun, it wasn’t my first show on Broadway but it was my first as the title role. It had went well, I thought. 

I dawdled backstage, waiting until everyone had left to go home before I sat in my make-up chair and stared into the mirror. It was weird how much my life had changed in a few years. It was strange to think that I was such a shy, terrified girl before. I felt so different, but in a good way. I felt stronger, more confident, I felt prettier. I had only been living in New York for just over three years but it already felt like home. I was happy. In that moment, I was content with life and it felt great. I had absolutely nothing to worry about. 

I stood up and grabbed my duffel bag from underneath the table and threw it over my shoulder. I didn’t have to worry about switching off the lights or locking anything, the janitor would come in at half eleven and do that for me. I did it anyway, just as an impulse. I stayed behind like this a lot.

I swung the stage door open, revealing the dimly lit alley. A man in a denim jacket and skinny jeans stood with his back to me, but he spun around when my presence was noticed. 

I swallowed a gasp.

"Hi," Sebastian said, slightly breathlessly. "Really good show, I’m a big fan."

I leaned against the door frame, a small smile tugging at my lips. “Thank you.”

"My name’s Sebastian,"

I knew his game, at first I thought it was playful but then I noticed the serious undertone to it. He was trying to start over. 

"Venice,"

"Yeah."

I grinned, trying to refrain myself from leaping into his arms. It had been so long, and I’d cried myself to sleep more than a few times with the thoughts of missing him on my mind. I took all I had to not stride over and kiss him right on the mouth, to make up for all we had missed.

"You know, I would take you out for a drink but for some reason I get the feeling that you don’t drink,"

I laughed.

"…But I do know the best pizza place in the city."

"Oh, you do?"

A huge grin stretched across his face. “Yeah, I do.”

"You’ve been to every pizza place in the city?"

He nodded, smiling like a maniac. “Yes I have, this isn’t an opinion, it’s fact.”

I took slow steps towards him until we were a couple feet away from eachother. “I think we should skip all that.”

He raised an eyebrow.

"I have a better idea."

I grabbed his jacket sleeve and tugged him behind me, we practically sprinted back to my flat. It was in the same building as Megan’s, first floor, just at the end of the same block as the theatre.

I tore the jacket and shirt from his body as stumbled inside. I crashed our lips together. We savoured eachother, the touch we’d been craving for all these months. We couldn’t get enough.

"God, I’ve missed you so much." he said between heavy breaths. "I’ve missed you so fucking much,"

I pulled at his belt, throwing it on the floor with a loud clink. He laughed at my desperation.

"Eager are we?" 

"I’m just trying to make up for what we missed."

He grinned. “You wanna catch up with all the times we would’ve had sex in the past three years?”

"You make it sound like it isn’t plausible."

"Well, think about it, we haven’t seen eachother in three years and say we had sex every other day, that would cancel out one and half years, so that’s, what? Five hundred and forty something days where we’d have had sex?"

I giggled. “That’s a lot of orgasms.”

His head fell into my neck, his laughter vibrating against me, tickling my neck. “That’s a lot of orgasms.” he repeated.

We held eachother, laughing hysterically. When we finally calmed down, he looked up at me, our eyes locking. He took my face in his hands and pressed a soft kiss to my lips.

"I love you."

And all it took were those three words for me to realise that I never should’ve left the boy who made my heart race.


End file.
